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I can't move on even though we've broken up, and he can't forget me either. What should I do now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Love stories, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 September 2008)
A female Singapore age 30-35, *arcode12 writes:

its been months already since i broke up with my exboyfriend. and i still have not moved on a bit. is it because i lost my virginity to him or what? im unsure because at times i will hate him to the core until i get too disgusted with my past with him. at times, i tend to miss him and end up crying. i keep on thinking whether he's moved on or not? because he said, he never had a girlfriend who can make him feel the butterfly feeling when hes with until he met me. he also told me that, im the first girl that he once broke up with and want to patch things up back..

all his sayings keep on playing in my mind. i still keep his text messages and refuse to send my cellphone for repair because i know, if i sent it for repair it will be gone, and i cant refer to them back. i have no interest in getting to know guys because i find them boring and can never be as perfect as my exboyfriend. at times i feel scared if i will remain this way until i grow old. i dont want to be single all my life. i only want my exboyfriend back.

recently, i met him after 6 months of not meeting. its weird that we can hardly talk. after meeting him, i told him that i still love him and cant move on. but all he said was hes not good enough for me. he said we are not fated to be together and we dont understand one another and asked me to carry on with life. he also told me that he cant easily forget me although he pretend to be smiling..

im puzzled. i dont know what to do. i dont want to suffer crying myself to sleep everynight.. what should i do?i love him but he caused too much damages in the past..maybe thats the reason why i cant let him go..

View related questions: broke up, lost my virginity, move on, my ex, never had a girlfriend, text

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A female reader, xxloopyloo123xx United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2008):

xxloopyloo123xx agony aunti have the same problem, and what is helping me at the moment, is that i have got a job which i work lates until like 11 oclock at night, so by the time i get home i'm too exhausted to think about him. also if i have any free time, i arrange to meet up with my friends, or go out and do something, because before i just stayed in all the time, which made it worse, so i think just do more things during the day to try and take your mind off things. hope that helps

xx

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A female reader, Daniela2 United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2008):

I believe that in a sense you never really stop loving anyone. It may not be the same kind of love, but deep down there is still some sort of affinity towards the person. In many situations it may be this belief that causes people to hold on to a past love so strongly. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "If you love someone set them free, if it was meant to be they will come back to you." Unfortunately, in most cases of separation it really wasn't meant to be. If a relationship has ended, chances are there were good reasons for it, either on your side or the other person's.

In every situation you are in there is a lesson for you to learn, otherwise you wouldn't be in that situation! Figure out what your lesson was with this person, and close the door. It isn't going to help you in the future to be focusing on the past. Your time in the present and the future is where your attention should be placed. Join a social group or a singles club. Or, join a group that supports a cause you are sympathetic to. You never know how many interesting people, or men, you will find who have the same interests. Above all, recognize that life doesn't begin anew by looking at the past. It begins with a sense of adventure and willingness to be in the present looking towards the future.Hope That helped

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