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I can't get rid of the feeling, I'm feeling gross and ashamed!

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Long distance, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2012)
A male India age 30-35, *ne woman guy writes:

i am a straight guy who is in a long distance relationshp with the prettiest girl in the world..but due to some reasn..my gf and i cant talk everyday..its been 3 weeks since i talkd to her.today on omegle..i came across a bisexual horny guy.and he said he was horny and wanted video chat.i was curious to know how a bisexual behaves..so we had a video chat.the guy put up a show for me and when he asked me to do sumthng..i disconnectd..and now i feel grosed and ashamed of myself.i cant get rid of this feeling.Is something wrong with me?HELP!

View related questions: horny, long distance

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012):

I would not feel ashamed of yourself at all. I am married and love my wife. I also look at handsome guys. But not attracted because I feel gay. I have also glanced at gay porno to get a better understanding. Just curious. So I believe it is normal for a male to look at another male as women look at other woman. I have not chatted with another about being curious. I assume most young men are also curious about their sexuality. But do not judge other people too harshly. You may also be of a curious nature at your age. It is perfectly normal. I hope you are going to be ok.

wish you the very best, and again, do not feel any quilt.

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A male reader, one woman guy India +, writes (21 May 2012):

one woman guy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

one woman guy agony auntYouWish-u are right...i shouldn't have done that...but u saying that i should ask if it is a real relationship or not,i don't agree with it.

My society is a bit conservative.

her parents read my messages on her cell and took her cell away.

She is in grade 12 which is a very important time for the students here, because based on the marks we get..we get admission in a colleges.

she has medical which is the toughest stream.that is the only reason that we have not been able to communicate.

A reader, anonymous-dude i'm not saying i feel violated.

I'm just ashamed for doing what i did.

Because i definately know I'm not gay or bisexual.

"The show he put on" had me laughing my ass off

LittleMonster-U r right.i shouldn't have done that just because i didn't talk to my gf.

but that was not the reason.i definatley know i love her more than anything else in this world.i think it would have been cheating if i did this with a horny girl.like i said..i was laughing my ass off after "watching the show"

aunt honesty-Thank you so much..i guess you are right.more than lonely..m bored.and thats what i am gonna do..FORGET ABOUT IT!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (20 May 2012):

YouWish agony auntYou shouldn't feel ashamed about experimenting bisexually. Nothing wrong with that. However, you should be ashamed for essentially cheating on your girlfriend, long distance or not. Imagine if she were doing things like showing her breasts to another man on the internet. You would be heartbroken, wouldn't you?

You said she was long distance, right? It's been three weeks since you communicated with her? I would be asking myself whether or not you have a real relationship anymore. Long distance tends to only work if there is a definite (read: plans to no longer be long-distance" timeline for when the relationship ceases to be long-distance and becomes local. Usually, this is seen as in a deployment for war (a one year tour overseas), or a college stint where the regular address is a local one (those often are too difficult to maintain even under those circumstances!).

If you don't have a date of being together locally within one year (DEFINITE, not "We hope to be", those words being the bane of all LD relationships), or you didn't meet locally and she went off somewhere and is returning, you may want to end it, because there is no hope, especially given what you just did. Now, every day you're keeping up a long distance thing with her is a lie, since your eyes and mind are wandering, and you're being disloyal to her now.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012):

Dude, we pick our own battles. You decided for whatever reason to stick your nose into the world of bisexuality. Your reason was your own, but you did hook up. So what did you chat about with a bi guy? You see you're telling us some of the event,, but was that all of it?

I would suspect you're asking us if we think you're gay. You knew exactly what this guy was when you engaged him. So I think you need to ask yourself... am I gay? There are tons of DL guys out there, who would accept the name gay, so they go on the DL like it's some great men's club or something.

Don't tell us you feel like a woman who has been violated when you put yourself in the driver's seat.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 May 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntNo there is nothing wrong with you, you are missing your girlfriend, you are lonely and you just felt curious as to this. Don't beat yourself up about it you have done nothing wrong. Accept that you done something that you regret and just forget about it.

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