A
female
age
30-35,
*ovehate
writes:Hi. I am really stuck. I can't find any guys. Every guy that likes me im not interested in. I don't know many guys as i go to an all girls school which is awful. I am quite shy but i've been told i shouldnt be as i get a lot of male attention but i am very self critical. My problem is, is that i know no guys and it really gets to me sometimes. Advice on what i should do?! Thank You! x
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male
reader, cuninglingwist  +, writes (31 August 2007):
your obsessed with boys but dont like them, but you have no problems with girls, well maybe you should have a special girlfriend you can open with and deal with guys latter after they grow up!
A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (2 August 2007):
lovehate is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much. Your opening a new door for me. I am going to try to put every bit of your advice into my actions. It will be hard for me but i will try. Thanks :)
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 It's probably because you're thinking of guys as something 'different' and as potential boyfriends. Usually girls who have brothers find it easier to deal with them socially. Also, if you've been at an all girls school or grown up without a father figure it may be more difficult to relax with guys at first.
It's brilliant that you're easy to get to know and can make friends. Just talk to boys in the same way. You might have to work at it a bit to start with, but it'll get easier. Remember that listening is more important than talking anyway, so you don't have to be the life and soul of the party. Just relax and be yourself.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 You're too young to obsess about boys right now. There will be plenty of time for that later.
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A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (1 August 2007):
lovehate is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your understanding and help. I just can't seem to get my head round things. Why am i so shy? I get along so well with meeting new girls.It's easy, iv been told im easy to get to know. Why do i build a barrier with guys? Why isnt it the same?
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A
female
reader, Carina +, writes (1 August 2007):
Stop worrying about it! Seriously, there's no point. From what you say you have plenty going for you and guys are attracted to you. I suspect that you become self-conscious when you're with them, because you don't know many, and that probably makes you behave unlike your normal self. The best thing to do is to stop thinking of guys as boyfriends and think of them just as friends. This will help because a) you'll get used to being yourself and relaxed around them and b)you'll get to know boys and realise what kind of guy you're looking for a relationship with. Don't forget that girls mature earlier than guys too, so a lot of guys of your age just won't be ready to be a boyfriend. Don't forget they also get shy!
Try to join some clubs and things where there are guys and girls (get a girl friend to join too if you need a bit of support): youth clubs, amateur dramatics, art, film clubs etc. If you're an outdoors/sporty type then there's canoeing, ahtletics, tennis, orienteering etc.
So: relax, enjoy guys company as friends, chat to them, be yourself and go out and meet lots of them in an every day sort of way. I'm certain you'll suddenly find there's one guy more special than the others. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Well, I had the same problem when I was your age. Here's the deal. As you get older, there will be more guys "your type" available. Just do yourself a favor, and don't make the same mistake I did- don't go for the first guy that shows you a bit of interest that you fancy.You're a beautiful, intelligent person. You deserve to be choosy. ;)
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A
female
reader, Lonelygirl9118 +, writes (1 August 2007):
I know you're interested in meeting someone, but you're still very young.. I'm almost 24, and from someone who has dated quite a few different guys, I really wish I had just waited until I was a bit older... Trust me... the less people hurt you, the better!Anyway, if you really want to meet someone anyway, PLEASE don't meet anyone from the internet. People are never what they claim to be.Have you talked to any of your friends about introducing you to anyone?
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