A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of two months is starting to swear at me. He even went to an extent of calling me a bitch. It happened after he claims that i don't have time for him; because frequently he told me that love is time and i dont seem to do as he says. Whenever i do something he doesn't like he gets mad at me. Like last week saturday i was with one of my guys friends just talking and walking together along the road he saw us and immediately accused me of cheating. I apologised and explained to him and he let go. Then yesterday morning i met a really nice guy he was the new guy in town. I gave him my number and he told me we could hang out i agreed. The same day i met up with my boyfriend at his place, we were both naked when the guy kept calling me. My boyfriend allowed me to answer my phone and when i did that guy asked me where i was and i said without thinking, next to my nude boyfriend that i was with a friend. He got angry and told me he won't see me again. Last night he chat me and told me he wanted our relationship to work. The very same night i called him and he was still angry he sweared at me over the phone and told me that i make him hate me. I don't know what to do or how to feel about our relationship. He seemed like a nice guy when we started dating but now i don't know. He always dresses clean and nicely, encourages me to take education seriously and is now working for a certain company and im still in school (he is 5yearz older than me). I need help to decide if i leave him or make the relationship work. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 December 2014):
 Things that stand out for me in your post are:
“starting to swear at me” THIS IS ABUSE
“calling me a bitch” THIS IS ABUSE
“I don’t seem to do as he says” THIS IS CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
“he gets mad at me”
“my boyfriend allowed me” THIS IS CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
“he sweared (sic) at me” THIS IS ABUSE
“told me I make him hate me” Poor choice of words on his part. YOUR behavior makes him hate that he’s with you is what he means to say.
IF you had a younger friend or sister who was with a man who did the above things to her would you tell her to stay and work it out or would you tell her to leave him?
OTOH:
“I Met a really nice guy…I gave him my number…. SERIOUSLY… did you think about how this looked to the new guy? DID YOU MENTION YOUR BOYFRIEND?
And honey if I’m naked with MY MAN, answering the phone is the LAST thing on my mind. Especially if it was from someone new I just met and I was in love with my man and wanted to make our relationship work
YOU IMO are giving off all the signs of a woman who wants out of the relationship.
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