A
female
age
26-29,
*assyElegancexoxo
writes:I had been talking to this guy for 2 months. I met him on Tinder and he is 4 years older than me. I'm 19 and he is 23. Towards the end of the 2 months, for 3 weeks we talked all day and all night. There are multiple days where we fell asleep on the phone together. He told me in the beginning that he had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship 8 months ago and it was filled with on and of cheating from the both of them and deception. So i asked him if he was sure he was ready for something real and a long-term relationship and he said yes. I met him at the mall to make sure he was who he said he was and the meet went very well. So, then he started calling me babe and all these names and I didn't allow it and told him I wasn't his girlfriend. Couple days later he asked me to be his girlfriend and I told him sure. Later that afternoon, my friend sent me a screenshot of him talking to another female on Tinder the day before he asked me to be his girlfriend. Funny thing is the girl who he was talking to went to the same university as me and I knew her. Apparently my friend who sent me the screenshot told me that she and the girl were on tinder and saw him and she told him to engage in conversation to see if he would try to talk to her. He did try and it was hurtful to see.I then Facetimed him and asked him if he had been on Tinder and if he had been talking to any females on there. He told me "No" to both questions. I couldn't believe he lied straight to my face. Honesty is such a big thing to me. So i told him that i never wanted to talk to him ever again in my life and blocked his number. He then tried to call me on 5 different phone numbers and contacted me on all my social media apologizing and being very remorseful. He says that he didn't know that I was really down for him and that he was only protecting himself if I ended up letting him down.I didn't reply to him and ignored him for 2 weeks. Just recently he tried to hit me up on instagram saying how much he really misses me. I ignored that too. Then just a couple days ago he messaged me on instagram asking if we can talk. So i decided since he has been trying to reach out this long I'll give him a response. I ask him why he wanted to talk and he was asking for another chance and he really misses me so much. Then he says he lied because he was scared and didn't want to disappoint me and that he didn't think I was down for him but he was wrong and proceeds to ask if i can unblock him so we can have a convo.So i unblock him and he is so remorseful for lying to me. Saying he's sorry for choosing to do the wrong thing from his past experiences and that he just really needed to know the truth and if I was down for him. He also says he lied because he didn't want to mess anything up between us. I told him that evidently i wasn't enough for him since he was talking to other females. I told him that its bullcrap that he didn't know If i was down for him because I told him I was. He then said that normally people aren't honest with how they feel and will just say anything and that's why he didn't fully believe my feelings. I also told him that i don't give out second chances (because i really don't) and that I'm only going to dedicate my time to someone who recognizes and sees my worth from the start and not until shit hits the fan. I told him he isn't ready for someone like me and since he didn't give me honesty there is no turning back and that I wished him the best.He then says that he is ready for me and he wants to show me that I can trust him and continues to beg.I generally don't let anybody get the chance after crossing me once to be able to cross me a 2nd time. So should I stand by my word and what I have already said, or should I give him a second chance? My mom and friend say that I shouldn't but i do really miss him and his company. I also saw a future with I'm too and was really hurt when we stopped talking.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 March 2016):
 Go with your gut and drop this guy.
MANY MANY guys use Tindr to troll for NSA, NOT looking for a serious relationship.
He even told you that in his long term relationship they BOTH were unfaithful, my guess is HE was without doubt - whether the ex GF was or not.. is kind of irrelevant.
HE is NOT really looking for serious. He is looking to hook up with as many girls as he can.
He wasn't REMORSEFUL - he was upset that YOU caught him and said OH HECK NO! And that is why he went all out trying to convince you that "deserves" a second chance... He will do the SAME again and again. So don't waste your time on this one.
My last bit of advice? Don't use Tindr if you are looking for something serious. It's pretty well known as a hook up app, not a dating app.
And know that you can do better than this guy. Being charming, fun, good looking doesn't mean he would make a good BF. Obviously... he won't.
Listen to your mom and your friend. Cut the contact 100%
Be the "one that got away" instead of the "one who got screwed over".
A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (13 March 2016):
If you haven't met him face to face you have no relationship. Go out, meet real males IRL and be a lot more human.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (13 March 2016):
Maybe it would be wise to go with your gut feeling about this guy.You now have learned the down-side to TINDER or any dating site.However i would be very slow to trust this guy again Use your head in this decision not your heart.Best wishes NORA B.
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