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I can't cope with this relationship but I love him. What do I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2008)
A female United States age 26-29, *oftballplaya writes:

I'm in desperate need of help here everyone. I think my bf gives me anxiety problems. I know this sounds very crazy but its the only solution I could come up with. You see, we have been dating off and on since august. At one time we reached a point where we stopped talking for about 5 or 6 months. Well he contacted me in May and said he changed and admitted to treating me wrong but wanted to try again. Knowing this I said yes, well the last time we dated we malfunctioned like many times before. We could never fully let go of eachother tho. He used to have the tendancy to just shut himself out and become distant. I always panic and if he dosent text back a minute later I'll worry big time. He dosent know any of this, because I sound crazy but I dont know what to do or how to cope with this. I really do love him and so far hes been doing great. I broke up with him a week ago due to my stupid anxiety and he came back with 8 new text messages and we talked on the phone for 5 hours a week later. He was my first love and although I'm 14 and hes 16 (please keep your judgemental comments to yourself) I know there is something there. He would do anything for me but sometimes I dont know what to do if things aren't perfect, do I have some kind of problem?

all help appreciated, thanks so much!

View related questions: broke up, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

a lot of women are like this. you will be like this with any guy you date. you need to work on yourself some. work on being secure, comfortable, not panicing if he doesn't tell you he loves you every second of the day. if you can't do this, you'll drive him away.

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A female reader, softballplaya United States +, writes (5 July 2008):

softballplaya is verified as being by the original poster of the question

softballplaya agony auntexcuse you...what do you mean "I hope he knows what he is doing?"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2008):

Yes, you do have some problems;

You are asking us not to be judgemental, however you are asking us to "judge" and tell you if you have a problem?

Yes, I think, you have some serious problems;

You are young and insecure; you need to work with your issues and insecurities;

You need to grow up and realize that no relationship is ever "perfect";

You sound lilke a "controll freak"; relax more and take things a little easier;

You are far to young to stress so much about small things; as they say:"don't sweat the small stuff"; (it is not always practical or possible to text back immediately);

Concentrate on other things when you are getting anxious; such as your studies;

All the stress is not good and healthy;you will become a nervous wreck and be on medication soon, if you don't learn to relax more and take things easier;

I hope this guy knows what he is doing?

Good luck!

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