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I can't cope with the long distance relationship so I decided to break up during his visit in my country. Good idea? What to say to him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2008)
A male United Kingdom, *p2000 writes:

Hi,

I really need advice on how to let my boyfriend go easily.

We have a very long-distance relationship, he's older than me (21), i'm 17 but he is like my 4th boyfriend, i am his first.

So as u all probably know, it really hurts when ur first relationship comes to end. He's very attached to me, but he lives in romania - so we only see eachother like every 8 weeks. We've been together for about 10 months - and i just cant cope with the distance anymore, it also feels like my love is fading etcc so ive really gota end it. He's in england now for a week - and i know it's thought best if you break up with someone face to face.

But i've got no idea what to say...i know it will hurt him a lot whatever i do, the gay life in romania is really crap, and he's constantly telling me i'm his everything.

I really need quick replies on this,

What do I do?? :(

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (15 February 2008):

GrimmReality agony auntI agree wit Ask Eve 100 percent. You HAVE TO BE HONEST. A lack of honesty will lead to nothing but intensely bad blood. How do I know?

About 6 weeks ago my long distance girlfriend abandoned me. No response to email, phone calls, textes, etc. Granted we are in the same country, but she had nixed three attempts by me to meet over the past 3 monts. Love can fade, but being honest is what she should have done. Valentine's Day is my birthday, and I finally got hold of her, and instead of at least being honest with me, she turned everything on me. I hung up the phone on her after telling her to F&*K OFF & DIE! She let me twist in the wind for weeks. All I wanted was an honest answer. I still didnt get it, and it crushed me that I had to say that to her.

What I'm trying to say here is please be honest with him, because you never know, you may pick it up at another pint in time, as long as you are honest. My girlfriend guaranteed to me that I would have nothing but anger and hostility towards her for the rest of her life, because she was not HONEST.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2008):

AskEve agony auntExplain to him exactly what you've said here. You find that the long distance thing isn't working out. You're both still young and have a lot of living to do before you settle down with anyone. Let him know you're studying hard (or something similar) and can't concentrate on any relationship just now and if you're going off him then tell him at the beginning of his visit, that way you don't need to "get close". Hey it happens! He'll be upset but at least you're being honest with him.

~Eve~

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