A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my guy for 4.5 years now, and while I know that I love him, and that he loves me, I can't help but feel that something's missing. My bf is a wonderful guy, he's sweet, smart, and kind. However, I've never really lusted after him at all. He's my first and only bf, and we have a great sex life, but I've never really had moments were I really "wanted" him, in the way that he wants me. I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something. He's a great guy but I just can't help but want more. I recently met a friend's bf and I couldn't help but be a little jealous not only at how good-looking her bf was, but how happy she was with him. I feel like i'm not getting everything that I really need from my bf. What can I do about this? Should I just accept the fact that I will never feel those lustful feelings? Or does this mean that I should move on and try to find someone else?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): To me, a guy that I love but don't have lustful feelings for is just a friend. Real love encompasses all sorts of emotions, but if you don't also have the passion, something IS missing. My best friend in the world is an ex boyfriend. I feel exactly the same way about him as you do yours - I love him more than any man I know (since I'm not currently involved with anyone), but I have no lustful feelings toward him whatsoever. That's why he's an ex, but I wouldn't trade his friendship for anything. I'n not saying you should stay friends with your boyfriend, it isn't always possible, but I wouldn't settle for someone I didn't feel passion for.
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