A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf and I both have problems with our sex life. She has vaginismus and self esteem/image problems and i have had no experience and am embarassed about my self in terms of ability and self image. We sat down and discussed yesterday our problems both physically and mentally and broke them down and gave ourselves goals to reach.Problem is i can't see why she should have any problems with her self image and i tell her this all the time but when it came to me, even though she hopefully thinks the same way i do, i can't be comfortable naked around her. We discussed this in terms of telling her i was uncomfortble showing her my genitals and she told told me she thinks there is nothing wrong with them but now i feel embarressed that i even said it! my real issues are with my testicles as i have far too much scrotal skin and my testicles hang horribly low and are quite small. I aslo have slight varicose veins which make them look lumpy. I've been to the doctor numerous times but i get told 'everyone is different and i'm normal enough' but i am getting more of a complex over them than ever. my gf (even though she is probably joking) acts like she finds the male genitals laughable if something of that kind pops up on tv (society seems quite open to mocking and belittling men in that way don't you think?) and it makes me feel like a joke especially when my genitals are so disgusting :( it's really getting me down. Do i talk even more in depth with her about my worries or would that just be bringing the problem to her attention when i could just hide it from her as much as possible? is it weird to talk in that much depth about these things?will it weird her out? i can't help but think i'm going to be making myself appear even more unappealing if i'm pointing out all these problems and if i appear to whine and worry too much...it's not very manly is it..? please, any advice would br greatly apprciated!Many thanks
View related questions:
self esteem, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Mikes +, writes (20 September 2009):
 The best thing here is to talk about it, talking doesnt have to be whining. She has issues herself so she should understand. Listen to the doctor when he says everyone is different, i know its repetative but it really is true. Start beleiving it and feel comfortable with what you have. Some people only have one testicle, some people have none, how do you think they cope?
Most of this is in your head, probably due to overthinking it too much. The way you describe your girlfreind sounds like she cares a lot for you, so she should be fine.
As for the laughing about testicles? they also laugh about womens body parts, dont worry about it, its part of life, just laet it go over your head. If you cant change something, you just have to learn to live with it.
Hope it all works out.
|
