A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My sister julia is amazing at everything, everyone loves her, but then theres me..I dont know why, but i just can't get along with older people! I dont mean to compare myself to her but it really cant be helped. Like its not just her i compare myself to, its everyone..I will be talking to my boyfriends parents and i just always feel awkward or that i have to say something very witty and make everyone laugh. I always come off as a little princess who couldnt possibly do anything wrong..and thats not how i am at all! I cant even click with my bestfriends mom who i've known all my life! I got hired at the job i'm at right now because the owner loves my sister and thought i would be as outgoing as her..not the case. I get comments constantly like "why dont you talk" blah blah. I'm fine around people my own age, but just not older people! And like when im talking to my boyfriends mom i will be thinking "i bet his mom liked his ex boyfriend better because shes outgoing and knows what to say" AHH! I can get along with them, but i just wont let my relationship go to a friend level..its the same way with my teachers. While everyone else gives hugs to teachers and what not im like.."hi.." I really do try to be outgoing and act like myself but then i feel like im being fake and everyone can see it..HELP!?!?
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female
reader, stuckinthemiddle81 +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Not everyone is or has to be "Susie-Freakin'- Sunshine" all the time. If they are, it's all a facade. Don't force yourself to be something you are not or else you'll regret deceiving yourself and others.
So you want to be able to communicate with older people? That's great that you want to try and that you have tried. It all takes practice and time and confidence. Forget about your sister and how others "love" your sister so much because of this or that--focus on yourself. I'm sure people love you for certain things that you're not even aware of because you're stressing over how popular your sister is!
I had the same issue. I had only one best friend at the time and I worked with preschoolers for three years and i had no idea how to react to my elders. I like kids because you don't have to impress them and you can totally be yourself around kids and they don't care! Until I realized that, yeah, I do need to learn to communicate with adults and yeah, its gonna suck because I have low social skills. But I bit the bullet and forced myself to talk to my mom's friends (people I grew up with but never spoke to before because they were older than me). The way I broke my silence was sat in on their conversations and just asked my mom's friend about me and her daughters were like growing up (I was friends with her daughters). That is on way to break the ice--they like to reminise (sp?) about old times.
You will eventually get use to talking to others in time but have patience and don't beat yourself up about it. You're still learning--we all are!
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