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I cannot get over the bad guy.....

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 September 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

There is this guy i cannot stop thinking about. i just cant seem to get over him for whatever reason and dont know what to do.

the facts:

-hes best friends with my manager (whom im also friends with)

-he has a highly sarcastic, sometimes jerk-like personality

-hes sassy, but fun

-i broke up with my bf of 4 years back in march

-i started hanging out with this new guy in middle of april (he initiated it..but i only intended for friendship)

-he was drunk and kissed me

-eventually a month or so later we agreed to be friends with benefits

-we fooled around a couple of times but i realized real fast that it was only a benefits situation and he was failing at the friendship aspect...so i called it off

-we started talking again a few weeks later..very light, casual conversation and group settings only

-we ended up sleeping together again but it was good, both seemed happy

-one week later we all hung out another group setting...after dinner the other couple left and he and i watched a movie...one thing led to another and we slept together...the thing is it started off nice..but half way through he got mean/kinda rough..i said ouch at least 5 times (got 7 bite marks) and told him to stop a couple of times that it wasnt fun anymore and he got mad and left. texted me later that he was done with my bull crap in regards to sex, but that he would try to be as polite as possible in public

- now its been about 3 weeks since that incident and we still havent talked or seen each other.

i have been dreaming about him for the past 2 weeks and dont want to. i know he is bad for me. i know i should be beyond angry because i lost all control that night and he had all the power. i gave it to him. i just feel so lost and lonely. in one of our conversations after the first "disagreement" he mentioned that he didnt like that we hung out/watched movies before sex...that if he had to do that to get sex then he was practically a bf and he didnt want to be...even though i told him i didnt want a bf. but now i find out he has been watching movies and hanging out with another girl...a girl that he doesnt want a relationship with..probably just shooting for sex...but why.. ugh.

why do i care? why cant i just move on? he was just the rebound guy that i got attached to...so it should mean nothing to me, right?

any advice and suggestions are welcome.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, drunk, friend with benefits, move on, text

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A female reader, xoxDrkrosexox United States +, writes (2 September 2010):

stop thinking about him....hes a jerk for doing that too you. hes stupid and he cant make up his mind. MOVE ON!!! if you keep lettin him do this too you then your just as stupid as him. my english teacher always says “ you gotta take men as they are. you cant change em.” your not going to get anything but sex out of him. And if you guys do 'magically' get back together its just gonna be a repeat and another heart break. MOVE ON!!!

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