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I can see us breaking up but I still have fun with him

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *uddlybear writes:

My boyfriend of 3 years and nearlly two months, lives with me and my family and has done for 2 years. Recently tho we;ve been argueing alot, we usualy argue but neevr this much before. He says he doesnt think thing's are working out and doesnt want to waste my life on something thats not going to work. However we both agreed it was just because of the lack of money we have a the moment, and decided to keep working on things.

But nothings improving, and I can see us breaking up, and part of me thinks its not such a bad idea, as it would be neutural. But we have so much fun, And i just can't let go of him.

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A male reader, Milo-kid South Africa +, writes (28 March 2009):

cuddle u not the problem here, but he is. sorry if this wil sound harsh but as much as u love him n fear to lose him, does he love u as much as u love him? does he even hav a lil fear of losing u? if yes, does his actions prove it?

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A male reader, Milo-kid South Africa +, writes (28 March 2009):

to me it sounds like he wants out of the relationship, otherwise he wouldn't have said that "things are not workin out n he doesnt want to waste your life" and now he's using those money issues to create arguements. one day u r goin to argue to a point wher he'l say "this is it, i'm done". judgin by the look of things, does he stil hav feelings for u?

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A female reader, Cuddlybear United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2009):

Cuddlybear is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Cuddlybear agony auntYou all make it sound so easy.

I do love him, but thing's have just become so boring, and he just wants to play xbox all the time. & he's always so miserable and I sudgest things for us to do, and hes always moaning that he cant because he hasnt got enough money or whatever.

It would kill me to see him with someone else though, I dont want to lose him because we broke up before, and it just devestated me.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (28 March 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntHi there,

It doesn't say anywhere in your question whether or not you love him. You've been with him for 3 years, do you love him or are you feelings 'eh' towards him? If you love him and want your relationship to work, you should really stick this out and try to make things work. Financial stress can take a nasty toll on a relationship and that could be a big part of why you're having problems. If you can pull through this obstacle in your relationship, you can conquer it all.

If you're feeling not too connected to him and like maybe breaking up would be best for you both, do it. Staying in a relationship will only draw out what is inevitably in the future. Break off things now and don't feel bad about it - if you're not working so well together, you'll both find the happiness you deserve elsewhere. So give that option a chance if it seems to be the right choice.

Good luck!

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A male reader, 2old4this United States +, writes (28 March 2009):

2old4this agony auntAlso it seems like you two are on the same page. Maybe talk to him again. Try some of those fun things together. But ultimately you guys should maybe try a break from each other for a while. agree to remain friends. I think he will. Work on you two being friends again and the love will probably return. But if not then thats ok too. You guys, or at least you, are still young. You never know what can happen in the future.

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