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female
age
36-40,
*eorgina
writes: Hi there,I know this is long but I have a long term relationship where I have encountered a number of problems and I don't know if I can go on, and I can't face breaking up with him.I have been seeing my boyfriend on and off for 3 years, and I am worried because I don't trust him. We broke up after we were together for around 6 months because he said he didn't love me anymore, then we started seeing each other again and the relationship built up, but I didn't feel as secure even though he said he did love me and he had just needed a break. I wanted to make it work as I loved him very much. It was my first and only relationship, which was perhaps why I found it so hard to deal with the brea up. I was a wreck.Then we broke up about 6 months later because he said he wanted to be independent, but we were living together, and the relationship continued pretty much the same without us putting a name on it. Eventually, after another 6 months, I moved and cut contact with him because I didn't want to be involved if he couldn't commit. After a couple of months I saw him again, and we started seeing each other again. He said he still loved me, but he had been seeing someone else. I said if he wanted to give it another chance he had to tell the other person and we had to start from scratch. But soon I found out he had been stringing us both along in casual relationships refusing to commit to either. I cut ties, and told the other girl. After about a month I bumped into him again and we were friends, and I was happy with that. I felt I was finally moving on. But soon I met him again and he told me he was sorry for everything he did and he wanted to start again. We talked about it and got back together, and I really felt he was committed. I was really happy. But now, a few months on, I found he has used my computer to set up a fake facebook site as a sexy lesbian, and has been communicating with women on the net. He has found pictures of some buxom blonde to pretend is him, and has asked these other attractive and 'up for it' lesbians to send him pictures of them while I am at work. The real insult is in the fact that when I try to do sexy things for him he isn't interested. I bought sexy outfits, but he was 'too tired' or 'busy working'. I don't understand what's going on and I'm really hurt. What can I say to him to make him respect me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): What can you say to him? Try - GET LOST! You deserve much better and you know it so why are you keeping this idiot in your life. Get rid and meet someone who will treat you properly.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): The best way to get someone to respect you is to call them out on bad behavior and don't tolerate it....some of which you have done in the past, and you have given him what about three chances to make a commitment to you and this is how he is going to behave? Time to call it, three strikes your out!
He sounds like he is not worthy of your respect, anyone who is doing what he is doing on the net has a real problem of which I am not sure what you would call it, one thing is for sure he is not right in the head.
From this little snippet he may even be a socio path...I think you need to put on your sexiest high heels and walk right out of his life and keep on walking for good, you may just be addicted to the elusive yo yo relationship and in love with the IDEA of what your relationship could be, but he has shown you over and over and over again he is not up for it...cut him loose and change your phone number if you have to.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 This person does and will never respect you. You have taken him back whenever he wanted to "give it another chance" and you still have not learn the lesson.
Sorry for the harsh words but he is not the "commited" type. He does not know what he wants and he wants Lots! Best get rid and for good this time.
Get your own self respect back and do not waist your time on him.
Find someone who deserve your love and move on.
Good luck
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