A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:(This is my fake anonymous account. I am Female)I caught my fiance masturbating in the basement while watching porn over the internet. I pretended I didn't see him as he scrambled to cover his tracks. He minimized everything in his desktop and covered his thing section with his arm. He then acted like nothing was going on.We haven't done it in a while. I the times that he tried, I just didn't feel like it so I reject him.I am starting to blame myself for this but I am also outraged that he was brushing it off. What should I do?
View related questions:
fiance, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): If you dont want sex, but he does, he is going to find some way to get off. So you said no and he found something else, what is he supposed to do? be celibate bc youre not in the mood? thats not fair at all. deal with it (the porn), or sleep with him.
ps. He probably didnt want to share his porn viewing with you bc you are being anti-sex with him, why would he show it to you if you clearly are not interested in sex?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): I'm amazed at how many women aren't interested in sex but then get mad at us for turning to porn. Just doesn't make sense to me!
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Hi,
I am wondering why you guys are engaged to be married when you obviously are unable to communicate with each other anymore.
Why do you not want to have sex with him? You are engaged you should be shagging each other senseless. It doesnt bode well for your future - if you have one.
If you have no desire to be physical with him anymore and just dont fancy him, then maybe you guys should go your seperate ways. Alternatively if its because of the way he treats you, sit down with him and talk it over - you might reignite the spark - otherwise can you honestly believe that you two guys will walk down the aisle happy and content?
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (28 February 2008):
If you do not give him the intimacy he feels that he needs he is going to go somewhere else for it instead.
At least show some gratitude that he is doing this as opposed to getting out there and having an affair with somebody else or paying for the services of a prostitute.
If he didn't love you and want you I no doubt he would have done one or more of those things a while back. Instead of that though he chooses a way of addressing his needs that harms you in the very least way possible.
Most blokes wouldn't be that considerate to a woman who has forced her celibacy onto them. Believe you me they really wouldn't.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (28 February 2008):
 heres some light reading.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-caught-me-watching-porn-but-we-dont.htmli like how this is the guy and you're the women. and vise versa.you reject him - he watches porn - you want nothing to do with bumping uglies with him - you catch him - he closes the porn sites because _ you don't want sex and most liekly woulnd't want to see that. _ Not seeing a problem to be honest. Why don't you want sex with him? thats causing it?
...............................
A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (28 February 2008):
Sorry not his fault!! why are you brushing him off? Do you like being ignored by the person who claims they love you? That is not a good feeling. Your lucky hes not out cheating on you, if porn is your only issue especially since your not paying him attention then be thankful. Also beware because in due time he WILL find someone to pay attention,,,rightfully so!
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 well its completely normal for men to look at porn and masturbate, so he shouldnt be shunned down to the basement!!and why are you rejecting him?he is your fiancee, you should be completely honest with him instead of making him think there is something wrong with him. in all fairness what else is he supposed to do? he was obviously embarrassed and thats why he brushed it off, to be honest you need to figure out why you are pushing him away when he wants to be intimate with you.
...............................
|
