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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need help please. I have been in the relationship for 2 years with this girl, I was planning my life with her, because I loved her. We had our problems as well, she was very short tempered, and wanted everything her way, I resented that and stayed to myself and expressed my opinion with fairness. We really had a communication problem certainly from her side because she was not willing to sit down even for 10 minutes and talk things over with me, as soon as I disagreed with her she was walking away!!. She always thinks she is right in everything she says and does, and on top of that she knows everything better than anyone!!, she considered herself as the expert in everything, but she certainly was not an expert in love. She never treated me with respect, and she was just concentrating on her career and her happiness and I never felt I was part of that. She was independent financially and very much money oriented, she basically didn’t need me, and I felt I was just there as a tool.Despite all these, I truly and honesty fell in love her, however deep inside me, I was not confident that she will be standing by me when I will need her. my feelings are so complex, We broke up, as our arguments was becoming more and more unbearable, but you know what, I never got a chance to sit down with her and talk things over, we never had a chance to make things happening differently, basically the way she gone, she never gave us the opportunity to make things to work, the chance that both of us deserved to have. She is gone, and deep inside I miss her very much, I still love her, but really don’t know weather I should really try to make this work again or not? considering the constant arguments and disrespect I was getting from her? Then again I don’t know how to cope with my feelings, it has been months now, and I have such a mix feelings inside. Part of me say keep away from the fire, the other part say what about all those good times, and history you had together. ? I am emotionally drained so much, to the point that for some period I couldn’t function at all in my life, I feel much better now, but still this has not been resolved in my head.I don’t know what to do? please help meThanks very much
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broke up, fell in love, money, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Are you two still in contact? Are you better friends than lovers? Have you had counseling? I suggest you talk to someone that could help you think clearly about what you want in a relationship and how to get it. Check out divorcebusting.com for some good information on healthy and happy relationships. Good luck.
A
female
reader, dancer  +, writes (18 January 2007):
personally i think you should not, but its up to you. i recon you should have a talk with her about it and if things go well, then you know what to do and if she hasnt changed then you still know what to do.talk to her about it.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Often when a relationship ends we instantly forget all the bad stuff about it and can only focus on the good stuff. I think that's what you're doing. This is totally natural but it's not healthy. You have to be the one to make this decision. If you get back with her can you really deal with all of those little things that annoy you so much. Nobody's perfect but some people just aren't meant to be and you need to work out which of those groups you belong to and be sure about it, because it wouldn't be fair to get back with her and break her heart again. Good luck.
CD
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 You have to sort this one out for yourself, I'm afraid. Is the drama and tension worth the aggravation? I've been in similar relationships and sometimes you don't feel alive unless there is conflict. When there is no conflict, it is boring. You may be suffering from withdrawal from that scenario. Personally, I think you'll be better off without her in your life. Life can be fun and fulfilling without turmoil. Try it.
Good luck.
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