A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I'm having trouble with something i can't (and honestly don't) want to understand.about a year ago i went on a trip with my school, and made friends with a boy in my year, because my best friend also knows him. we spent loads of time together, he came to my room at night and we would sit on my bed and talk. we were just FRIENDS. and i was fine with that, because at the time he was just a friend to me. when we got home, we would talk on the phone for hours, every night. on bonfire night i sat in the dark in a field and he called and asked ' what would you do if we had sex?' and we just played it as a joke but i was surprised by the physical reaction i had thinking about it. he would come over to my house all the time, sometimes wait hours at my house while i was out. ( one i was comeing back in the car with my mum and we saw him walking home in the dark and rain, i asked him why and he said he just waited an hour for my but decided to walk home) oh and he lived MILES away. sounds romantic, huh? listen to this.i was having a shit day, it was around midnight, and i decided to go for a walk. unfortunately i was out of it and ended up getting lost. at that moment it started pouring with rain, and then he called me. i was sobbing on the phone and he was shouting at me telling me where i was and that he was going to find me.i described my surroundings, he guided me out, and i said i knew how to get home from here but he said no he would meet me somewhere. again, he lives MILES away and ended up holding me while i was crying in the middle of the street. he walked me home and stayed long after i fell asleep. by that time, jesus i really liked him. i mean, not to seem a show off, but he was insanely good looking. and a freerunner, which means he was muscular and i felt like jelly sometimes when we would just be sitting on my bed. so, ive described the most memorable experience i have of him. but sadly, after all that, i blew it. because it was always 'friendly' no matter what. never 'romantic'. at one point it was killing me.then, one day, he was at my house, and i was telling him something private. he was handing upside down from my bunkbed talking to me. ( he looked really good) and i said i wanted to kiss him. but he never gave me an answer becuase i made it out to be a big stupid thing almost immediately, like kissing him was the worst thing in the world. i was still under the bed, and he sat down in front of me and just moved his fingers forward, trying to make me come closer. and i hate myself now because THAT COULD HAVE BEEN A MOVE. but it probably wasnt. i insulted him again, and he left. i cried all night. then he appeared the next day, but i didnt notice the ballons he held when i shut the door in his face. stupid me. i found them the next morning. we havent spoken in 2-3 months. i dont think we ever will. i see pictures of him and i tell myself i dont care, even when he hangs out with my friends. i miss him, ill just say it. a mate asked if he missed me and apparently he repied with " i suppose" that hurts me so much.i refuse to think i love him, i even dont like typing it.i think i just wanted to write this out. i'd like replies, but whats to reply? i just wanted to let it out, and this may be like an essay so i don't expect many people to bother reading it. its just, the only people i'm attracted to are like him and i never stop thinking about him. what hurts more is that...i think i know he never thinks of me. i just wish he would appear at my door like he used to.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2012): Unfortunately life isn't a fairytale like in some of the movies, and relationships require time, patience, and effort to build. Its not just a case of meeting on a cruise ship, falling in love at first sight, and living happily ever after.
I'll be honest when I say, you sound too immature for a relationship, and I think you expected too much to develop too soon from a friendship.
Just because you don't speak to this boy much anymore, doesn't mean there won't be a chance for you two again in the future when you're both a bit more mature, and can see there's more to relationships than just "What would happen if we had sex now" or "Who's going to make the first move" etc.
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