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I believe this married man is attracted to me, too

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2010)
A female New Zealand age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am friends with a married man and have been for a couple of years. Our children are friends and we have socialised together once with his family at our place. We were to go to their place for dinner one night, but my friend told me his wife was not keen to have us over then. I beleive there is an attraction between us but neither of us would say anything. I really enjoy his friendship and i believe he does too from the way he smiles at me, makes me laugh, and that we try to get together for a chat once a week when i collect my daughter from school.

I feel his wife just tolerates me because of our friendship,but she has nothing to worry about. Do you

think i have a need to be concerned?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

what kind of MAN betrays his wifes words to another woman. how many times have we all complianed that we do not want visitors over or that we just do not feel in the mood to entertain. this pathetic man betrays his wife to another woman? i am glad his wife is trying to distance her family from you. she sees a threat in you, beacuse you are out to get her husband. she is to be admired for standing her ground and voicing her thoughts on not socialising with you. after all you have designs on her husband in the guise of mere friendship. she know you are up to no good and you intend to destroy her marriage. i wish more wives had the balls to put a stop to their spouses friendly socialising, they would not be sitting with broken homes right now.

i am glad his wife has had the moral convictions not to let an intruder into her home. as for this MAN (?) i hope his wife roasts his @ick on the fire for not being a man and taking her word and spreading it to you. That is not a man but a rumour hunder and a gossipmonger and an almost adulterer. I hate such men who become emotional bastards to other women. they complian about everything from their wives panties to their wives cooking, to their wives love making. In fact they are so busy bitching to other woman about their wives that they fail to see their own wrongdoing. their compliants make them weak and insecure and it takes their manliness away. do oyu want to have an affair with this half man?

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A male reader, MAX D Ireland +, writes (25 July 2010):

MAX D agony auntThe only thing that I would say,is think very care fully before you act on any feelings that either of you might have.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI think the wife have a bigger "right" to be concerned. If you are worried I would talk to the wife and ensure her that you are not interested in her husband. And then STICK to it.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (24 July 2010):

DrPsych agony auntYou only need to be concerned if you want to act on the attraction. As a married man he is off limits. It is not surprising that his wife is not too happy about having you in their home if she senses the attraction. It was wrong of him to tell you that his wife wasn't keen on you being in the home. It shows he can be disloyal to people who are close to him. It also shows he can be manipulative...he told you as part of his strategy to highlight the attraction. If he cheated with you, he would cheat with other women too. It would be such a mess with the children involved too. There is no reason why your children cannot continue with their friendship without you getting too close to this man. You can find other friend's to confide in easily.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010):

Being attracted to someone doesn't mean to say you have to do something about it. I am attracted to a lot of men but I am married and decide that I'd like to stay that way out of respect for the fact my husband is all I want and need.

His wife has clearly picked up on some kind of connection between you two and feels threatened. Why don't you put yourself in her shoes? Why would you want to make another woman feel jealous of you? If you and this other guy don't feel you can cope with just being friends then maybe, yes, you should be worried and leave both of them to their marriage and be a little more careful about how much he 'smiles and makes you laugh' because it sounds very much like you are falling for him.

Make some decisions before temptation makes a fool out of you.

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