A
female
age
36-40,
*eezy41
writes:What did i do wrong to deserve this? I have been dating with this guy i met online for 4 months. Everything was going great except he had a lot of family issues or work issues. Every time he was arguing his mom or sister, he was always talking to me and calling me his salvation because i was always there. We slept together on our 4th month. He knew that i was not easy one.We had a few problems that i got jealous cause his ex girl missed call me. I did not know who she was. I asked him 1st time. He said it is his elemenatary school friend. 2nd time i asked him was last week. He said why i brought it up and if i am obsessed. He told me the true that she was his ex.Right after that; I asked him what about us? I asked twiceHe never replied me back even though he told me he will call me.We work at the airport. I work inside the security and he works outside the security. He saw one of my coworkers and asked me if i am working on that day. Then he texted me how my training going. I said its going well. He did not ask me to come out so i did not. He said good luck on my training.he never texted me.I valued him alot. What did i do that i deserve this? All i wanted is to be a couple after 4 months and i did not even get an answer.what should i do? Wait for him
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co-worker, his ex, jealous, met online, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (5 August 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right guys... i should start moving on and have some dignity.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 August 2017):
 Be realistic here.
You're not going to get over it in 5 days.
Why on earth would you still want to be speaking to someone who's stringing you along? You wanted to know if you were serious or not and he disappeared off the face of the earth. That in itself shows he was interested in nothing more than sex from you.
Do you think that's all you're worth? For someone to use you to get off and then disappear at the first mention of commitment? You need to muster up some self respect if you do.
Be grateful that you found out after 4 months that he didn't want anything serious rather than a year down the line.
This guy was an absolute dead end, be happy that you found that out and can move onto someone who wants the same things as you.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (4 August 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can not get over him. It has been 5 days and he has not texted me. It hurts alot. Sometimes, i think i should have never asked him what we are. Then things would be different
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (3 August 2017):
I honestly don't think you have done something wrong. If you have just been yourself, then the only issue is with your partner. He was probably not that interested in you.
And if her ex is following you on FB, it's probably because she is stalking you, or thinks of you as a threat, who knows. Facebook is PURE EVIL IMHO.
I don't want to say this, but you were probably a rebound relationship, but that's NOT your fault. You did NOTHING WRONG.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 August 2017):
 I have no idea if he wants to be back with his ex. Maybe not.
But , supposing that he does not want to be back with his ex, that would not necessarily mean that he wants to be with you in a serious relationship. It's not as if he must choose ,mandatorily , either the ex or you. He could very well want neither of you, and stay uncommitted and unofficial until he meets a third person he feels he can commit to.
It's not a matter of doing anything wrong, and I suppose he appreciates all the emotional support that you gave him. But gratitude is not love, and we are not bound to fall in love with people just because they have been nice to ys.
I think that he us just not that much into you, or at least not as much as you are into him. His lies and his actions say that he may like you and enjoy your company , but not to the point of turning what you have into an official committment.
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A
female
reader, deezy41 +, writes (2 August 2017):
deezy41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys really think he wants to go back to his ex? But his ex called me in May not recent time but i had encourage to ask him who she is now, in June then in July.
I do know they are friends on fb. If the guy still has feelings for her, and the girl is right after me and sharing my photo on fb, why she does not wanna be with him? So is it time to move on? During 4 months, I am the one who always supported him emotionally. What did i do wrong not to be couple?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (2 August 2017):
If you did not get an answer, you can assume it is a resounding " no ". Otherwise, what's simpler than saying " Yes, great ! ". Or at least " I am not sure yet , I am going to think about it seriously " ".
You wanted to be a couple after 4 months, and he does not want that. His silence means " you got the wrong ideas in your head ".
Do not wait.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 August 2017):
No, absolute waste of time.
You've asked him ahere it's going and it's obvious that it's going nowhere for him.
He lied to you about his ex gf calling you also so that would be a red flag for me. Sounds like he has unfinished business with her if she's still in the picture.
He doesn't sound very pro active, id definitely move on from this one if I were you.
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A
male
reader, Riot2017 +, writes (2 August 2017):
As a rule of thumb, never date people from your workplace, because that kind of situations make things awkward.I think that this guy has still feelings for his ex, and the fact that he has not contacted you again after asking "What about us?" made him rethink if he wanted to stay with you or go back with his ex.I'm not saying he does not care about you, since he is worried about your training. What I try to say, is that perhaps he has his past with that other girl, and he may want to rekindle that relationship by some reason. I know some other persons will say that he used you or that he had no feelings for you, but we don't have a way to really know his reasons. Perhaps he isn't sure about his feelings.All I can say is that if I was dating a girl I already had sex with and I do feel something for her, I wouldn't hesitate in answering that simple question, twice.The best think you can do right know, is move on, keep focused on yourself, do positive activities like sports or arts, you are going to meet lots of new and fun people. If he comes back to you, be aware that this may happen to you frequently, since he has not given up on his past. Best luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 August 2017):
 Hi Deezy,
I'm sorry things aren't going as you had hoped. ONLY you can decide when you feel like you have WASTED enough time on a guy. If after 4 months it's going NOWHERE then will you waste 5-6-7-8 months knowing that it's not likely much else happens?
I'd say after 4 months you have an idea of where it's going and if you don't so you think that will change?
I think he sees you more as someone who will listen to him, rub his ego, give him attention but he really doesn't bring much to the table.
Like I said before, GIVE what you get. If you do 80% of the work is it worth it?
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