A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and said he needed space. I always thought he had a thing for a girl he works with as he worked with her all the time, and socialised with her. She is 6 years older than him.The other day i foned to get some stuff back from him, and he said hed stayed all nite at a friends house and was goin home to get ready for work. I was worried so i text this woman asking if she'd seen him. She said no.Later, it transpired he'd been there for lunch at her flat. He admitted it when i asked him and said he didnt mention it cos he didnt think it mattered. He said she probably didnt tell me he was there cos she didnt want involved. I dont understand if they r just mates y she would have said that.I know we arent going out but i am waiting for him to have his space. I asked if i should bother waiting for him and he said yes, he wanst seeing anyone else and didnt want to. I asked him if he thought he would come back to me in the end, and he said yes. I am so worried he is cheating but doesnt want to tell me incase i tell someone at his work, as she is his boss.Should i accept that he is telling the truth? Or should i b suspicious? I always believed him when we were together and never REALLY thought he'd cheat, he was always so against it. I asked if we could meet up next week and he said yes, he'd call me when he knows his work hours. Am i being a typical paranoid woman, because i want him back so badly...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): I'm going out with an amazing guy but I always feel like he's too much of a flirt. He has a girls house he goes to almost every day. He says that there is no physical attraction but I can't help but be worried.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): I agree wholeheartedly with Collaroy. If you want to be special to someone, treat yourself like someone special and don't hang around for someone who has finished it.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (24 February 2008):
How can he be cheating if he is not your boyfriend. He broke up with you. You are asking him all these questions like you were his girlfriend but what he does is none of your business anymore. He should just tell you that but he thinks he's sparing your feelings so now he is just telling you what you want to hear. People break up because they want to take another direction in their lives, not go back to where they were or they would stay where they were. I am sure you will be able to get him back between all the girlfriends he has and maybe this will be something you are happy with. And yes, you will be suspicious all the time.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy + ♥, writes (22 February 2008):
Hi,
as the other poster said, if he knows you are waiting for him its party time! He can bonk whomever he wants , have some fun and when he gets bored he knows you will be there for him. Then when he starts getting bored with you again he will tell you he needs his space and start the process over again. This story has been played a hundred times on these pages - tell him you are not waiting for anyone you are special and deserve someone who will commit. Tell him good luck with finding his space.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten + ♥, writes (21 February 2008):
I agree with Jabey. Thats pretty much spot on in my opinion. Couldnt even add any more to it.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (21 February 2008):
once a man asked me for space, and time. And I said well, i appreciate you are unsure, but im not going to sit and wait and be your insurance policy, whilst he could go out look around then if nothing better out there come back to me.
I said I will get on with my life , date other guys, go out and if you decide you want me then, I will decide if I want you. I said Im worth more than being with someone who is not sure, and I said if we are meant to be we will be.
Do you know 2 weeks later he was begging for me bak. When we got back together later he told me, when you said you were not going to sit around and wait, i respected you so much then got terrified I would really loose you i had to come back.
You deserve to be loved 100 per cent, if he knows you are waiting he can do what he likes take as long as he likes then may never come back, cake and eat it springs to mind,this way he knows you are waiting and he can do what he pleases in the mean time.
I would tell him you love him, but will be moving on.
This will jolt him into wanting you back, and if it doesnt, Im sorry but the guy was playing you.
Irrelevant that it is that he may or may not be seeing someone else, you are special and deserve a man who loves you and does not need space from you. Give him his space, but take away his security by living your life. Good luck
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