A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 5 weeks pregnant - 35 years old - just found out. Bf who I have had 2 other kids by (2 boys) - this would be my 3rd kid with him - so making it 4 kids in total is not really reacting much to the news. He was shocked at first but is leaving it all up to me.Our relationship has become loveless. He cruelly told me on a phone call in case I do die to iron out my will in terms of him getting custody of all the kids. As the custody of the step child - might be argued for by my parents (if say I die) as they do not like how he treats me and also they are overly protective of her. First kid I had I ended up doing all alone and she died 27 days after birth (not his biologically). 2nd section was my daughter (who is not his and I did that with my mum). I am finding this v upsetting. I have had 4 c sections in total. So this would be my 5th c section. 1st c section - baby died. I am petrified of the 5th c section. Its really high risk. On my 4th c section they told me my womb is paper thin and to try to not have any more. I was taking contraception at the time though he was been branding me a liar. I wasn't looking to get pregnant at all. I think a medicine I took to get rid of a cough I couldn't seem to shake made my contraceptive ineffective. I am happy with the 3 kids we have. I am now worried to die and leave them without their mother. Its depressing. I am getting no support from anyone. Everybody seems to be suggestive of an abortion which I don't want to do so have been ignoring it all. Feeling v unloved and unsupported. There will probably be no-one in the room with me when I do give birth cos of the other kids and cos its so life threatening. I guess my mother doesn't want to see me die this time and as you know the more sections you have the more you play Russian roulette with your life. I love this kid regardless of how it happened. Its been nearly 2 years since I had a baby. Any ideas how I can make my situation easier and better?
View related questions:
abortion, liar, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 January 2016):
 Talk to your doctor now. That is what you need to do first of all.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (6 January 2016):
 First off I am sorry that you have an un-supportive boyfriend, does he show any emotion at all? Do you feel all love is gone? Sit and talk to him about your future, you both need to be honest with each other about what the future holds. So sit down with him and see where his head is at, and also ask yourself do you love him anymore? If not then there is no point just being together for the children, as they will grow up and see that a loveless relationship is normal, it would be much better if you where separated and both spent quality time with the children.
I can understand that you are scared about a 5th c section. If you have ruled out abortion well then you need to go to your doctors and have a risk assessment they will guide you and hopefully put your mind at ease.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (6 January 2016):
Hey there,
I think you should first talk to your doctor on the chances of a healthy baby, safe birth and your safety should you go ahead with your pregnancy.
If he/she says it doesn't look good, I think an abortion would be the best option.
Your boyfriend does not seem very helpful or supportive. He should have been using contraception too you know, just to be sure, because none of these contraceptives work 100% of the time, and for the sake of your health it was imperative that you *not* get pregnant.
Plus you already have so many children to care for - if you have this one, will you be able to give him/her the time, attention and care the child requires? Do you have financial independence to take care of your child without your boyfriend being in the picture?
You have to think long and hard about all these things. You might also want to rethink the status of your relationship with your boyfriend. Losing a child is just.. so sad, I really feel for you - he should be more supportive about your choices right now and should be more caring as he knows the risks this pregnancy involves.
All the very best.
...............................
|
