A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I really need advice... I am unbelievably shy and it's impacting on my social life. I am pretty confident at work where I interact with parents and staff in my school. My friends suggested I go on dating sites as I was low about not meeting anyone. So I went on and met this really kind guy. He kept asking to meet and I was happy when he did. However when it got to the time to meet him. I freaked out and panicked and cancelled. He stayed around for about a year before he just gave up. It broke my heart, I don't even know why I was so scared to meet him. Another guy wanted to meet and I kept putting it off. I suggested that if he's out in town when I'm on a night out then come and say hi. I feel I'm more relaxed in numbers. But they never do. And I don't know why. Part of me feels that it's because I knew they liked me so I was scared to let them down? What can I do :(
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female
reader, malvern +, writes (30 November 2016):
 This is clearly a 'safety in numbers' problem. You're afraid to branch out on your own. I'm sure that you are a lovely person who has a lot to offer and you need to have more confidence in yourself. When you keep putting off meeting these guys on their own you are giving out the message 'I'm not interested in you', even though you are prepared to meet them when surrounded by your friends. They back off because the majority of men are not actually so big headed enough to force themselves upon you. You need to realise that you have a lot to offer and I'm sure you can fill the conversation about all the amusing little incidents that must surely happen in your school. They will respond to you with their comments and before you know it you've struck up quite a good conversation with them. It's all about self confidence so put on a brave face and forget about how you feel. It's more than likely that they are feeling exactly the same as you, so try to consider their feelings too. Lifes experience has taught me that most people are actually quite humble underneath the facade they present to the world, so get out there and meet these men who are showing an interest in you.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 Sweetie I don't think online dating is for you. You don't have the confidence to go and meet someone, you back out because you are scared, my guess is that you are scared you are going to let that person down in "real life". You need to gain more confidence. Stop with the online dating. While out smile and say hello to guys you find attractive. Say hello and ask them how they are. No pressure just go with the flow and be friendly.
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