A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am totally in love with my second cousin. I have been in love with him since I was about 15 yrs old but he was older and had a girlfriend and I just figured he would shoot me down. I am 27 now and we lost touch for a while but recently got back in touch thru social media. He messaged me and we talked everyday. One day the conversation quickly turned to love and life and girlfriends boyfriends and he told me that he always had feelings for me. It was out of the blue and I totally got excited. We both had someone so it wasnt like I could just say I want to be with u. The conversations became increasing and more personal but I cant help feeling like he just wants me to jump in bed with him and thats it. Then I think why waste all the time and effort over the last few months if that was truly all he wanted. Im so confused and in love its killing me. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (16 August 2014):
 Trust your gut. The fact that you profess to love this guy and still have that nagging suspicion speaks volumes. If he's not single and neither are you, then yes, he's probably just looking for sex, and if you made it clear enough in the past that you were interested, he may think you're desperate enough to take whatever attention he is willing to give you. Even if it's only physical, as his girl on the side.
You mention "time and effort" but all you've described here are online conversations, which take less effort and personal investment than almost any means of communication I can name. For all you know he could be bored in his current relationship and have similar lines out to a half dozen other girls he knows, waiting to see which one(s) will fall for it. Unless he gets single and THEN comes to you professing his interest, you're best off steering clear of this guy. Seriously.
Good luck and best wishes.
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