A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I am watching everyone I know get engaged, married and have children and I am starting to wonder whether he will ever propose. I want a family life with children, so I cannot accept a life without weddings/kiddies. I don't know what to do. He has had a lot on his plate in the last year, so I keep blaming that, thinking that he hasn't had a chance to think of the future but it is beginning to get to me. What should I do? I am 27.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 October 2014):
 The length of time in a relationship is not a good measurment of when a person should get married ?... Perhaps. In theory.
In practice , any sensible person who loves somebody AND believes in marriage, reaches their
" pee or get off the pot " point.
If two people love each other, know each other reasonably well ( which, in 6 years ,should happen ) and have got the money to support themselves and possible offspring, then WHY they should not get married ? ( again, if they believe in marriage, of course ).What their objection could be ? what they would be waiting for ?...
I tell you what. Either one, or both, are waiting for something better to show up on their radar. They may appreciate ,like, in a way even love, what they have... but not to the point of feeling that it will be enough for them for the rest of their lives.
They are biding their time, basically . Hoping that somehow somewhere they'll chance into the " real " one.
Now, we don't know the background of the OP's story, so we do not even know if they have talked about marriage and children before, and what HE said about that. For all we know, he is waiting for an inheritance from a rich relative, or a promotion at work.But if in 6 years the subject has never been brought up, debated, touched upon... she can bet it never will .
A
male
reader, tinybutnotfangless  +, writes (8 October 2014):
 Many people assume that men should know when and how to make marriage proposals, but no one really just knows. Also, the length of time in a relationship is not a good measurement of when a person should get married. Instead, the measurement has to be taken from all elements of that relationship, as well as the environment in which that relationship is a part of.
If marriage and children was already a topic of discussion in the past and you know it is something he wanted, then maybe it's time you stepped up to the plate and propose?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 October 2014):
 At your age if he was going to propose he would have. I find that within 3-6 months most men know if a woman is "the one" within a year for sure.
You could propose to him... but that's not what you want is it? If MARRIAGE alone was what you wanted you would have proposed to him.
If you want marriage and babies, he's not your man.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 October 2014):
 This: "....He has had a lot on his plate in the last year, so I keep blaming that, thinking that he hasn't had a chance to think of the future but it is beginning to get to me..." is a COP-OUT.... and gives him a PASS that he doesn't deserve!!!!!
After 6 YEARS????? This guy is not going to propose to you until/unless YOU pull the trigger.... HOWEVER!!!!....
.... THEN you have a proposal.... from a guy who never would have done so (proposed) otherwise.... so you're getting the "crumbs" that he knows he has to offer to keep from you giving up and dumping...
How about saving all the drama.... and simply dump him NOW?
Good luck...
P.S. I'm will to wager that - if he DOES propose - and you and he go through with a wedding.... it will prove to be a disaster before too long. Cut your "losses"....
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