A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 17 years old (18 this year) I have a friend who likes me (or in his words "loves" me) he truly does adore me and if I'm honest i guess i feel for him too. Though maybe not as strongly.We have talked about it many many times and we cannot be together due to cultural, religious, race, age issues. He is white, christian(atheist..) I am bengali, muslim. In a sense we are worlds apart.We both met at college, where we still are studying. I see him every day, we are in all of each others lessons so I see A LOT of him. I spend most of my time with him and we get along so well. We are in a "group" of friends and we are around other people too but lately we seem to be spending alot of time on our own.. going for walks ect. Although we both know how we feel we have accepted our relasionship will not go any further. My problem is that whenever I am alone with him although I dont feel any physical attraction to him for some reason I feel extremly turned on and when he touches me I find it very difficult resisting him. Sexually I am attracted to this guy even though I dont find him attractive (is that even possible?) and I dont know what to do.I dont see myself with him in 10 or even 2 years time but when I'm with him I just want to kiss him.. maybe because I feel so guilty about letting him down I just want to make him feel better. But I have to admit sometimes it's just me who wants him to touch me. I feel sexually fustrated a lot of the time and I think maybe that's why I love his touch so much but then I dont really feel the same when anybody else touches me.He runs his hands over my stomache sometimes, he's always tickling me (or trying to) I love squirming in his arms. I don't want to be with him and that's why I'm confused. I am definately sure I don't want to be with him (in a relasionship way) but when I'm with him we can't stop touching each other.The worst thing is I don't especially like it when he has his arms around me it's just when he's touching my stomach or stroking my arm or little things like that is when I get turned on.I know how much he adores me and for his sake I know this has to stop. I've tried talking to him countless times about "this" I don't want to lead him on or him think our friendship can go any further. I've voiced my worries to him and he assures me he doesn't have a problem with touching me and knowing it's just friends. Problem is it's not just him when I'm with him I don't think about the fact that he's stroking my stomach ect. I only realise once its too late.What do I do? I'm sorry this has been long and sorry if this makes no sense I had to get it off my mind somehow.. I really really get turned on when I'm with him and that's the main problem I feel like I should just kiss him and finally get this over with because it feels like that is what all this is about.Except if I do that I will ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had. I will hurt him extremly badly (because I refuse to go out with him but then if I kiss him and still say no that's going to make him feel terrible understandably) What do I do? This feeling isn't going to go away.. I see him everyday and when we say goodbye we hug and kiss (on the cheek) but today its was more of a peck on the lips.. I can just feel the build up and I have to stop this before it gets out of hand. All help appreciated. Thanks.
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male
reader, childof1981  + ♥, writes (9 February 2007):
 I don't want to sound too simplistic here, but if you don't see yourself with him in 2 years or so . . . just date him for a couple years. There is obviously some chemistry between you two and it will likely end your relationship as friends by either escalating to romance, or drifting apart.Is there something so wrong with liking a guy and having a short term romance with him? It's like youth, it won't last long so you better enjoy it while you got it.
A
female
reader, cd206 + ♥, writes (8 February 2007):
 You're teenagers. You're both bursting from the seams with hormones and maybe aren't yet that experienced in seeing the difference between sex and love. Sounds like you want to have sex with someone you trust, rather than be with him. That's totally natural. I remember feeling the same at your age. If you're absolutely sure nothing is going to happen between you and that you don't want it (even though on some level you do) you need to stop spending so much time alone and limit the physical contact. If you carry on the way you are you'll scare off other guys who you do fancy because they'll think you're already in a couple. Make sure you start off gradually though, it doesn't sound like you want to lose this guy's friendship.
CD
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