A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:please help me. i have been with my boyfriend half a year now, he is amazing in bed in everyway. he likes it fast and i dont mind this but i get really paranoid that i cant go fast enough when im on top for him to enjoy it as much as i do. i am a bit self concious of myself as in my body as i am quite curvy and am very aware of how on show i am when on top. i am trying very hard to lose weight to be happier with myself. has anyone got any suggestions or perhaps there are some exercises i could do to make me faster on top. and this might be bit silly but is it more a up n down motion or forwards n backwards when im on top? i find if i go too fast i lose control and he pops out and he is by no means small so thats not the problem. pls help
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much to the people that helped me i really appreciate it and have taken everything on board :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): I don't know for sure about exercises but um, I think that sometimes it is a little like doing squats (from your feet or from knees) so squats or anything to strengthen your thighs and behind might help!
Sigh, I do sympathize. I feel the same way, and I am also curvy and my BF has told me how tall and extra thin his exes all were. And he always has preferred woman on top (to be honest he needs to lose more weight than me and I think it is less exertion for him if I'm on top.) But yet I feel really exposed and feel like Im not doing it right.
A long time ago when I was in college and thin, I didn't seem to have a problem with this - I think it really is more difficult to be on top when you are bigger.
I think watching a video or two is a good idea. Also don't always feel you have to be on top.
Also, this is an inconvenient form of exercise, but I have lost a lot of weight ice skating (haven't done it for a while, it melted cellulite like you would not believe!) Ice skating works muscles like abdominals as well as leg muscles I didn't know I had (inner thigh, outer thigh, back of thigh, plus other thigh muscles I never knew were there!) I would think roller-blading might do the same.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (7 June 2007):
 I hate to say it, but you would probably benefit from renting a couple of porn videos and watching them when you are alone. You'll pick up a few good techniques for the "on top" position (and others) and it'll probably help you feel more confident in the process. The thing about being great in bed is losing your inhibitions. If you're thinking about your body image, worrying about every little jiggle and roll, your moves are going to be more robotic and less free. Focus your mind on the sensations. Close your eyes if you need to and just get lost in what you're doing. Concentrate on the way he feels inside of you and just go with it. Up and down, back and forth, grinding, whatever feels good, just do it and put yourself into the moment. If you are trying to lose weight to be healthier and feel better, good for you. Exercise is a great way to build body confidence and make you feel more sexy and when you feel sexy, you'll move sexy, and you will be sexy not self-conscious. Good luck! And have fun!
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