A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am a complete and total virgin. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two months but we were dating each other for about two months before we were officially an item. He knows I am very shy and want to take things slow and so far we have only gone as far as making out. The problem I have is that I am scared of doing foreplay for the first time. Not so much him doing it to me (sounds selfish I know) but me doing stuff to him. I just know I would do it completely wrong and it would be really really embarrassing. I am less nervous about having sex than doing stuff to him as I have more of an idea of what to do! I know I need to get the first time over with (it's not like I don't want to, it's only my nerves that are holding me back) and then practice makes perfect but it's going to be terrible! I don't want him to be there thinking "what on earth is she doing?" and we are both quite shy people so it makes it even more difficult because I don't think he would tell me if I'm rubbish. Please help me! what am I supposed to do? Is it possible to avoid giving him foreplay altogether and just skip to the sex?(This all sounds childish to me but it's not like I'm totally clueless, I am on the pill and I would never have sex without a condom, I just don't know what I am doing sexually!!!!)please help me :( xxx
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condom, foreplay, shy, the pill Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TaylorChu  +, writes (16 August 2007):
 Keep your purity. If you aren't 100% into doing anything SEX wise then dont do it. Personally, I say give your virginity to someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you and is willing to die for you. You can give it to this guy now if you want but already you are questioning if you want to go through that or not.
A
female
reader, supersquirrel +, writes (15 August 2007):
 EVERYONE feels like that for their first foreplay session, and maybe even the next couple of sessions. like everyone says, start by asking him what he wants you to do, ask him to put your hand where he wants you to start if you like! or (possibly for the more confident guy) ask him to show you what he wants you to do? after you've tried a couple of things, ask him what feels best. i'd say the most important thing is communication, if he feels there is something he'd like you to repeat then he should say so, this way it builds up your confidence, as you know you're getting it right, and it makes it feel better for him.at first i was more confident with my mouth, but you soon come to realise that a combination can work much better: use your mouth to focus on the tip of his penis(especially just underneath), and use your hand further down(don't start too fast, and ask him to tell you harder/gentler faster/slower etc). if you feel up to it, every now and then take his penis as far down your throat as feels comfortable (my ex assures me guys love that)i'd go on, but that's enough for a beginner!good luck (you'll be fine, just relax, and communicate!)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): It's actually quite simple : talk to him about it. Explain you are unsure, and get him to teach you. Talk to him about what you are feeling too - teach him. Your relationship will be all the better for learning together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): okay number one: there is definetely no wrong way about it
number two: do whatever makes you feel comfortable
i have almost like a fuck buddy...and we just do whatever makes us happy...you should really try it it works like crazy ;) you need the confidence within urself.... pamper yourself a couple of hours before hand make urself feel happy maybe even horny if u need to...just go for it...
and like i said there is no wrong way of doing things...expermient it works every time x good lck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): I was in a similar situation with my bf.He had never done foreplay before so he was hesitant and I didn't like giving foreplay, only getting it. We were both shy but he was more nervous and 2 months into the relationship we started doing foreplay and there is no wrong way of doing it. We still experiment a little to see what tickles our fancies now and again if you know what I mean. Just have confidence in yourself. Plus going straight to sex is not that fun, you need foreplay to set the mood.
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