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I am scared he is saying all this to just sleep with me again and leave me.

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 July 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Please advise.

A year and a half ago I came across my teenage love on facebook. He lost his virginity to me and was really into me. I was not a nice person back then and I broke his heart.

So 15 years later I have grown up matured I'm in a caring profession and I am divorced with 2 children. We met up and had a good catch up he had just come out of a 10 year relationship. It was amazing seeing him again and we ended making the sweetest love and continued to since then - when he felt like it in the end I felt like a sex object. I was upset with myself for allowing myself to let him treat me like that.

He would not commit to me. we get along so great and he is my lover and also my best friend. I was there for him when his dad died and when he went through an illness. He always says that I scare him and I bring feelings out in him he has not had for anyone. When we are together it feels so special.

We are so good I just did not understand why he would not commit to me. He called things off and he said that he needed to think things through. I did not speak to him for almost 2 months. I would text him and he ignored all my messages. I sent him a text saying I really needed his help with something and he ignored all my requests.

This week he called me and said that his missed me and that he is ready now. Everything I have wanted him to say he is saying now. I am a little skeptical. Should I go with the flow? I am so scared of being hurt again. what do you think he is playing at? He said he wants to be with him and be introduced to my family. I am scared he is saying all this to just sleep with me again and leave me.

My children have never met him and when we did meet up it was when my children were away. I don't believe in bringing anyone around my children unless I'm sure. My children have only been around their father.

Please help.

View related questions: best friend, divorce, facebook, text

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (17 July 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIt sounds to me as if you have become his "backup" girl... who he knows he can score with when his "other" girls aren't available....

Don't make yourself available to him..... drop you "he's so delightful" (Pollyanna) glasses and see him for what his BEHAVIOUR has told you.....

Follow Honeypie's advice of staying in-touch with him, if you wish.... but not being TOO "available."

If he really likes you - and wants more than sex - you'll learn by that...

Good luck...

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 July 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntT your instincts...that tiny voice in your head that is telling you he just wants sex and then he'll run is pbably right. Your instincts will never fail you they are internal safety guidlines to keep you from harm or from repeating a bad experience. Good luck, you inner voice is guiding you trust it!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 July 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSo date, keep sex out of the picture a while and I would NOT introduce him to the kids till after a 6-12 months dating period, depending on their ages. Your first priority are your kids, not what HE wants.

If he is ONLY wanting to hook up, he will "vanish" and then you will know.

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