A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my fiancee (we'll call him stuart) for nearly 5 years. I ended up having sex with a friend of his (we'll call him steve) while he was at work, and most of our circle of friends know about it. If Steve's girlfriend found out she'd kill him and i know stuart would kill himself if he knew, but Ive just found out that I'm pregnant and it could be either of them that is the father. Please help me!!! I feel so messed up right now.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2007): Have an abortion.
I've been in your shoes and took the latter and think it was the best solution for this situation, which is sad yes I know. I know I will probably get blasted for this but I am being serious. I WAS in your shoes..
I think you would much rather do that than have to flip a coin on who the father is going to be. Waiting until the kiddo is born is way too hard on YOU, and definitely both of the potential dads. If you wait to find out who daddy is, it will create a LOT of drama in your relationship/whatever it is now. You will get over the fact that you went and had the abortion done, it is an option for a reason.
A child is a lifetime commitment + expensive and deserves more a crapshoot of who Daddy is.
please don't blast me
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): Keeping quiet isn't an option, as all the friends know and it will get out.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 September 2007):
 You're going to have to come clean. It's much better to do that now than end up on one of the tv shows that do dna tests. You messed up, you have to take responsibility for your actions, and let the people you weren't respecting know what you had done. There is no real easy or magic way to confess to cheating, but to avoid making additional mistakes, you owe it to your boyfriend to tell him.
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (9 September 2007):
i cant believe you describe these people as friends... theyre helping you lie and deceiving an innocent man who doesnt deserve the most painful betrayal on earth, i suggest you find some moral back bone and face the music... you did the dirty, come clean and help an innocent man move on with his life, to find a gf who respects him enough not to drag ''his friend'' into bed.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (6 September 2007):
 If there's a possibility that it's the fiancee's (he wasn't away on a trip or anything) then you decide that it's his and keep your mouth shut. You don't want to hurt the innocents (and I DON'T mean you and your fiancee's friend.) You can do a paternity test once the baby is born.
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