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I am pregnant and my boyfriend can't marry me because it will break the other girl's heart

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 February 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 February 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *by writes:

hi everybody,i think you gyzs for all those good idvices and ideas that may lead my relationship.therefore,i have a problem and i need some advices from anyone who cares about my situation.this is my problem:i have been with my boyfriend for two years,since the beginning of our relationship he told me that another girl want him but he refused.i believe everything he said,i trust him,now i m pregnant, he wants to marry me but he told me that he was with the orther girl for a long time,and he 's afraid of breaking her heart.so far, he explain to me that the girl love him so much but he does not love her for real.as i m goin to marry him,do you think he will forget about that girl who influence his love life even he does nt love her?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2010):

Seems to me that your parents are very concerned by his behaviour towards you to actually say they will help. I think you need to listen to them.

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A female reader, eby United States +, writes (15 February 2010):

eby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi everybody,I really appreciate the way you work together to help others,and i thank you for the previous advices that you gave me.Thi is my question today,i hope everyone will help me to find the answer.I'm pregnant,at first my boyfriend acted very stupid,he injured me and said many wrong thing to me.But when i tell him that i'm changing my idea about being his wife,he frightenned and pleased me not to marry anybody else but him.i feel embarassing now cause i still love him,but i can not forget the way he acted in the past.more,my parents dnt want me to marry him anymore,and they promise me that they will do whatever to help me with the baby and go back to school.what do you gyzs think will be the best choice for me.

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A female reader, eby United States +, writes (6 February 2010):

eby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks to everyone who cares and i m really agree with you gyzs.so if i decide not to marry him with my own will,do you think i m going to get over the situation? and if i start seing myself first,do you think there is another chance for me to success my love life.cause i regret too much already as he was my first and only one

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A female reader, tanya2010 United States +, writes (6 February 2010):

This guy may be worried about hurting this girl's feelings,but what about you? You're the one having his baby, not her. If this other girl doesn't know about you & the baby yet, it's only a matter of time before she does find out. You appear to be in a very sticky situation with guy. But I'll be honest, right now, it's suposed to be the happiest time of your life, having a baby with the guy you love, but instead of puting you and the baby first, he's puting this other girl's feelings first. Good luck is all I can tell you because it sounds like you're going to need all the luck you can get with this situation.

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A female reader, eby United States +, writes (6 February 2010):

eby is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks to everyone who concerns about my problems.that man came to my family,he pretended that everything goes right between us,but while i m talking to him,he refuses to forget about every single wrong thing we have done in the past.when i ask him to forget he injured me,now i'm afraid of marry him,but i believe since we get married things can work cause he loved me so much before my pregnancy time.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2010):

I'm sorry, but there is something seriously wrong here. No man would refuse to marry you because it would break another girl's heart. Either he loves her, or he just isn't ready for marriage at all.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (5 February 2010):

If he didn't care about her, then he wouldn't worry about breaking her heart. Either he's making excuses like another aunt posted (and it's a lame one at that) or if that's the real reason, then he still has feelings for her. I think you know that someone from your past wouldn't stop you from marrying your boyfriend, so that shouldn't be the case with him either.

So I think you need to tell him that if he's just scared, not ready, or just doesn't want to marry you to let you know because you find it hard to believe that an old flame is getting in the way of your futures. If he won't fess and still uses that as his excuse, tell him where he can find you once he's done being worried about breaking some girl's hear that he's not even with. He should be concerned about breaking your heart, not someone elses.

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A male reader, Evans Venezuela +, writes (5 February 2010):

Why get pregnant before marriage. That was unreasonable of you.

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