A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am pregnant but i already have 5 young children and im only young. I thought about an abortion but dont think i can do it, what should i do my man isnt much help
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female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Are all these five kids from the same father?
A
female
reader, Tbosse +, writes (9 July 2010):
Are these five kids from the same father?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 July 2010):
 I suggest that you get some counselling to determine if you want an abortion or not (try the marie stopes organisation). You have a lot of children at a young age. It suggests contraceptive failure or a lack of ability on your side to assert your right to control your body (i.e. your partner is acting as he wishes sexually and you don't feel confident enough to demand contraception). Whatever the situation it has to change or else you could end up with 20 kids by the time you reach the menopause. If you go ahead with the pregnancy, talk to your midwife about your contraceptive options for the future. She can refer you to a gynae doctor for specialist advice on what is best for you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Too little information for me to make a good judgement of your situation, but I question your sex life and the protection you use. After 5 children, knowingyou don't want more at the moment, what happened? Were you not careful? Even if you resolve the situation at hand now, I fear that if you do not change what caused the pregnancy, you will find yourself in this situation many more times.
As for the abortion or no abortion, going from no information about you at all, I will say that you need to listen to your own values, but also consider the other children you already have. Supporting yet another child, and giving most of your time to the newborn, will affect your other children. What is best, not only for you, but also for them?
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (9 July 2010):
 If you don't think you could go through with an abortion then don't have one, you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
Do you think you can afford to keep it?
I know it would be tough, but maybe you should give adoption a thought. You could go with an open adoption so you'd still get to see the child.
Also, if you're not using protection you should think about going on birth control. Vasectomy is an option, but it's something you would have to think very carefully about. I think the coil (IUD) might be a good option for you as they can last between 5-10 years.
I hope this helps a little.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): You need to take ownership of your life - go get your tubes tied. You already have five children with another one on the way, I suggest that you have this last child, especially as you dont think you can cope with an abortion, then ask your healthcare worker to arrange for you to have your tubes tied.
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A
female
reader, AgonyAuntBlondiee +, writes (9 July 2010):
 Don't make a decision you may regret for the rest of your life. Yes children are hard work and expensive, and it's so tough doing it without much help - but could you really live with yourself knowing you had killed your own baby?
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (9 July 2010):
 If your man isn't much help then where are they going to live, what are they going to eat? Children are really expensive.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2010): another option however hard is also adoption.
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