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I am never approached by men

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Question - (21 December 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2017)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am about to turn 23 in a year and I have never ever been approached by any guy anywhere before in my life nor have I ever dated anyone. I know it is not due to my weight because I am thin and petite (some people tell me that I even look as young as 15).

I have never really had guys interested in me and I am very rarely hit on or even checked out by men (at least from what I notice). If a guy hits on me-he only ever compliments me by telling me I am beautiful that it( and usually it is done by an older guy). And when I try to hit on guys it never really goes well. I can't help but to feel unattractive due to this and I feel like I won't ever find a guy. Sometimes I feel like giving up and I think that maybe I wasn't ever meant to experience love....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2017):

First of all, don’t stress about this, it’s not worth it. I’m sure you’ve heard this but don’t hinge your value and self worth on something that is not in your control. The number of guys who hit on you does not equal your worth. Just like the number of friends or how much you get paid does not equal worth.

Just be someone you like and can be proud of.

Now to answer your question more directly: if you look really young, yes that can be part of the problem. I also get told I look really young, and I never really got hit on/asked out by strangers until my mid thirties! I’m also going to add that self confidence could be part of it.

And if you’re trying to find someone to be in a relationship with you, then in meantime don’t rely on random strangers to approach you. Join groups, go out with friends and be you, self confident, content, self reliant. I bet you’ll find someone then.

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2017):

Hi girl

You sound like you have have a rough time . I am sur ethat you are indeed very beautiful. It is easy if you are feeling down and depressed to forget to look your best sometimes. The simple truth is guys like looking at us, and a little bit of thought in what we ware can make all the difference. Bright colorful colors and dare I say a bit of sluty make up on OCCASIONS works magic. You must remember that guys are mentally tuned to noticing how we look. confidence is the key here. If you project confidence and sex appeal then you will be fighting off all and any horny guys that come your way. Plan and take your time making up your face and hair, cos that is what guys see first a prety face. (No the boobs come second lol) A dress which high lights your figure is a must.No matter if yu have small medium or large boobs a push up bra is your best friend. It lets them imagine all sorts of wild thoughts.Projection is always key. Then all you have to do is sitt back in a bar and have guys make hit after hit on you.You will totally be in controll babe. You will only have to sit and wait before you decide on the rite one to date with. Good luck hun and happy hunting

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 December 2017):

Honeypie agony auntIf you sit in your hand and WAIT for men to approach you, you will probably NOT be approached by the men you are interested in.

Being hit on by loads of men isn't an accomplishment or life-skill.

Being able to converse, chat and even better INITIATE a conversation with people IS! IF you see a guy YOU find attractive say hi, ask a question or give him a compliment and move on. It might make him notice you and make him want to get to know you. But being a wallflower will only let you watch the rest of the World interact.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2017):

You should have a circle of girlfriends to share time and activities with. They will give you tips on how to dress and do makeup that will help you to look more your age. If you look 15, you won't be hit-on by grown-men too much; if they assume you're under-aged. If you're wearing the same hairstyle and clothing you wore when you were a teenager; you'll look like a kid if you're really short. You have to dress your age.

You also have to be seen in places where young women are visible. Go to the gym, go dancing on a lady's night with friends, attend parties, and social gatherings where young people are likely to meet. You aren't very visible; if you rarely or never go out. Make girlfriends, and guys soon follow. Don't shun a little tasteful makeup. It matures the face.

I find it odd, it can't be size; because two of my lovely nieces are under-aged. Seems men and boys notice them all the time. We all keep a close-watch to protect them. If you're female 5 feet or taller, men are likely to check you out.

If you live in "small-town" or rural-America, maybe the pickings are few in the male-population. All the guys know you as the shy sweet girl next-door. If you shrink and display very timid body-language, lower your eyes or head when guys approach. Then men look-away; because you're giving us the "don't be a creep vibe."

Being petite doesn't necessarily repel male-attention; but guys tend to give shy-girls their space. The lady-friends I suggested will also help you to work on your assertiveness and confidence. You're shying away and not giving anyone a chance to approach you. Being the smallest person in the room, often makes it necessary to stand-out somehow. So you have to pep-up your personality, and be more outgoing.

If you never project confidence in yourself, you go unnoticed.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (22 December 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

The question is...What kind person are the men approaching?

Are they approaching and insecure and low self-esteem woman? Or a confident, happy go lucky, and bubbly woman?

You will not be approached by many men if we can sense your negativity about yourself. In fact, people in general will avoid you.

Most people, including men, are attracted to the positive vibes that people put out.

The way you think about yourself is shown in your eyes, on your face, even the way you walk, or stand. What your mind believes, your body will show it...even when we don't realize we are doing it.

So again...What kind of person are the men approaching?

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2017):

Denizen agony auntWhat is your question? Is it how to be more attractive? Is it on tips to seduce men? Is it on where to find the right man? Is it how to behave or what to wear?

Not knowing any of this let me start by telling you to be a good listener. Men often like to feel that a woman finds them interesting. And if he finds you interesting too then you are off to a good start.

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