A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for ten years, not always happily although things are ok at the moment. I have recently started an affair a married man. We have only met twice and all we have done is kiss. I feel like I have really fell for this guy after just 10 minutes together. Every time we arrange to meet something comes up and all the arrangements fall through. I told him today I was going to book a room just so we can spend more than ten minutes together without the worry of been seen and he wants to think about it???I'm starting to wonder now if it was the thrill of the chase for him as it was him that pursued me, and when it comes down to the nitty gritty he's not really up for it??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): We have talked and both agreed that we shouldnt see each other anymore and give our marriages a go. Thanks
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): You talk so much sense, thank you.
I am going to end things today!
Thank you for your words of wisdom. xx
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 You'll forgive the obvious conclusion that if you are booking the room, you are doing the pursuing. It does sound like you are unhappier in your marriage than he is. Instead of using him as the catalyst to finally have the courage to do something about your unhappy marriage, and break up his in the process, why not go through some therapy, marriage or personal, and figure out what exactly it is that you want out of life and why your marriage isn't working. If you do figure out that your marriage is over, then allow your husband a shred of dignity and leave him before you cheat on him. You did marry the man, you can at least do that if you didn't live up to your vows.
You will be free and single again. That means you can date single men freely and to your hearts content. Don't date married men, or men in relationships that have children. Even if they are willing, the consequences far outweigh results, and it causes heartbreak and mayhem. It's pretty hard to start a good relationship out of all that mess - and what would you ever say to your children when they ask you how You and Daddy met? You'd be living in a lie and hiding it from your children out of shame. If you do wind up single after you sort out your life, find a nice available man who treats you with respect. Give yourself a break, you may not want to hide inside an unhappy marriage any more, but you don't want to enter into another situation where you would have to hide things all over again. You make the choices in your own life that create your happiness or unhappiness, so choose wisely. Good Luck Dear.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Maybe he has a little more feeling for his wife than you do your husband. Instead of breaking up two relationships why not try to fix things at home first. You know its wrong, so dont cheapen yourself by just having an affair. Its really not worth it all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I hope he has gone off the idea. If you don't want to be married get divorced. Fine to play the field then.
You obviously want to have sex with other people so perhaps you could persuade your husband to go swinging with you after all I am sure you would want him to have the same opportunities and thrills with other women that you do with other men.
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A
female
reader, nizzle  +, writes (12 June 2008):
There is only one answer to this question, stop seeing him. nothing good will come from your union with this person. if you two are truly for each other then you should respect each other enough to let yourselves get your business in order before trying to have any kind of relationship together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): This guy is married, maybe he's got more morals than you and is afraid to do anything to hurt his wife. Stop chasing him and sort out your own marriage, you probably look like a cheap harlot to him and he's starting to have 2nd thoughts about the whole thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Vow, I suggest you do what he is probably doing, taking stock of what is happening.
You are playing with fire, if you get caught, it might destroy two marriages.
Do you love your husband?
If you do, please talk to him and get your marraige on track, otherwise divorce him and then start dating.
I urge you, do not continue with this guy, unless you know what you want!
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (12 June 2008):
 cheating isnt right, people get really hurt. if you dont want your husband anymore then get a divorce. and if he dousnt want his wife anymore then he should do the same. if you continue with this, then eventually your husband will find out, and you will end up with a divorce anyways. if you dont want you husband then dont waste his time.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 June 2008):
 I can only hope he's not.
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