A
male
age
41-50,
*aleandworried
writes:Hi,I have a very big problem - I do not feel anything during intercourse! Please help me!I am 35 years old and i have had this problem since my sexual debut. And the problem is really simple, yet very complex - I do not feel anything! When I come into a woman I feel her warmth but that is basically it. No sensations whatsoever.I have been to doctors for medical examinations, I have been to sexual therapists and psychologists but they all have no idea why it is like this.I have been with several women (at least 15) but it has always been like this. And I really want to have sex. But I do not feel that much of sexual desire.I am getting desperate, please help! What is wrong with me? I have tried so many things but nothing has worked. All details can be found on this page https://maleandworried.wordpress.com/I found a similar question in this forum but I was not happy with the answers.regardsVery worried man Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sue beesue  +, writes (23 November 2017):
The one thing you said try made me decide to respond was the word "desire" for my husband of 20 years that is how he has explained our dilemma. He basically has no desire. Have they tested testosterone? How about vitamin B levels. Try a natural herbs.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2017): I agree with Chigirl that it sounds like about what women feel (not that much from that type of stimulation).
I think maybe the one time you felt things possibly the woman was very tight? Do you feel things when you are on your own by hand?
I wouldn't worry too much, I think as Chigirl explained sex isn't as much stimulation as myths would have you believe.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (9 November 2017):
 While I don't think you're asexual, do you think it could be possible you're gay? I say this because you responding this way could be a subliminal message. Some men try sex with men accidentally and end up loving it. Even to the point where they think they're into guys. There seems to be no other problem anyone can find with you. Either your have some rare condition or your body might be trying to tell you something.
It's up to you what to do next but you're current state doesn't sound great...trust me...I can relate to what you're going through. I sorta feel nothing myself but my issues have to do with demons and mental blocks from my past. You may not see it as the most appealing option but at least it's an option.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, maleandworried +, writes (8 November 2017):
maleandworried is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, many thanks to all the answers! I appreciate it a lot and I also understand that it is super difficult to find the solution.Some things to clarify:- Tyler Sage; well "feeling nothing" is that I just feel the warmth of the woman. Like if you dip your finger into a glass of body-tempered water. You will feel the warmth of the water. That is sort of all there is to my sensation.And unfortunately I am not aware of any emotional demons. I understand your question very well and one psycholigist I met also had such thoughts. But she couldn't find any such demons - not even under hypnosis.- ChiGirl; well the same applies for oral. And yes I am able to orgasm even though it is sometimes difficult.I have experienced how I think it should feel once. Once when I was 21 the sensations was what I think is how it is supposed to be (having sex). But after that it has not happened again. And I have met many women and had sex many times after that. And no - there was nothing special about that very time and trust me I have given it a lot of thought.My hope with this posting here is that I would get a reply from someone saying sort of "have you checked yourself for disease X" or perhaps someone who have had the same problem and perhaps solved it with some really good NLP practitioner. Sort of... I am just desperate :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2017): "it sounds like you feel just about as much as we do when wefaileintercourse. Similar to you, we don't really feel anything/not much at all. Because our sensor points aren't up our vagina. Which is why size really does not matter. But anyway. For us to get stimulation and reach orgasm, we need to have stimulation in another way than pure intercourse and in/out-action. So I figure it's the same for you."
This is what chigirl states for for you. Ehem.... not all women are Like that and I'm shocked one would think so for others.it's true that something isn't right.when penis and virgina meet, personally, every movement is a sensation that ripples every nerve and muscle in you. Hard to lock down or set free.
The virgina has the g spot that a skilled man can tame with time. That aside... This much sounds like a mental situation. If all else truly failed, pray.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (7 November 2017):
I wish you were a bit more specific in describing what "feeling nothing" means. I gather that it's either no emotional connection with your partner, no sexual drive when with your partner or no sensual/orgasmic sensations while having sex. It seems you might be referring to the latter however, which is from a more psychical standpoint.
If that's the case it seems you've never experienced an orgasm before. New and uncommon conditions can arise all the time in people. Seeing that you have been to so many professionals it may be an issue that can't be fixed very easily. Are you aware of any emotional demons from you past when it comes to being intimate with women? It's possible it could be a mental block of sorts. Try getting some second opinions from other, more experienced therapist and doctors. I'm sure this is something one of them have seen before.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 November 2017):
 I don't follow links from this page, so I will just ask a question here instead. How does it compare to when you receive oral? Do you also feel nothing? And are you able to orgasm?
I don't think there is anything wrong with you, just that you are not so sensitive. It's not like you have nerve damage, you do feel heat, you do feel pressure. You just don't feel that much of it, or what you do feel don't strike you as incredibly pleasurable, not the way I am sure you imagine it should feel.
From a womans perspective, it sounds like you feel just about as much as we do when we have intercourse. Similar to you, we don't really feel anything/not much at all. Because our sensor points aren't up our vagina. Which is why size really does not matter. But anyway. For us to get stimulation and reach orgasm, we need to have stimulation in another way than pure intercourse and in/out-action. So I figure it's the same for you.
Welcome to a world of exploring sex and what works for you. Stop thinking there needs to be something wrong just because you don't see fireworks whenever you put your penis into a vagina. I am 100% sure, it's not all it's cracked up to be and you're imagining it to be a lot more amazing than it actually is. Sure other guys may feel more, but you do feel! You just don't feel that much. Different strokes for different blokes. Maybe you respond much better to having your anus stimulated, or your balls. Your body is full of options for great sexual experiences, it doesn't end with the penis, you know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2017): if you can orgasm by yourself (masturbating) that would indicate the problem is more psychological than medical
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2017):
 Nerve damage? Anatomical anomaly? Metabolic disorder? I don't think you've done enough to find medical causes for your situation. If you are this distressed then seek specialists' diagnosis.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (6 November 2017):
 I find it difficult to understand that doctors and sex therapists have no idea what the problem is. What have they tried? Did you follow their instructions?
When you say you don't feel anything, is that emotionally or you have no sensation in your penis?
What about when you fantasise? Any relief there?
We could do with a few more details please.
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