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I am in love with a boy, but he hits me and spits in my face.

Tagged as: Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2006) 9 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2006)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

i am a teen and i am really in love with a boy, i have performed oral sex with him and he has done things to me but after it he says he doesnt fancy me anymore !! when we was alone he said he only said he didnt fancy him because i annoyed him. so i did it with him again and he agreed he would 'see' me which is like boyfriend and girlfriend but it means you can 'see' more than once person and we agreed to keep it a secret. a few days after i asked him if he would kiss me and he wouldnt but my cousin was there but that shoudnt of stopped him. Today he kept spitting in my face and throwing chewing gum in my hair and he was hitting me and i went out of his garden crying , i got home and i said why are you doing it and he said cos he doesnt like me !

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A female reader, katzkitten United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2006):

katzkitten agony auntWOW why let him act like that, you need to tease him a bit, this take practice. you need to learn how much to tease and when to give it up so to speak. i used to tease this lad but then he knew he had a hold ova me and treated me like to put it bluntly s***. Now im getting my power back, teasing him more, but it feels so much better when you have control. dont let him see he's upsetting u and gain a bit of power in this relationship if u choose to persue it. which i no u shouldnt and most of this advice from people says you shouldnt, but i no from experience it isnt as easy to give him up just like that. speshaly if u reli think you feel summat 4 im. good luck, and let me no how it goes. x x x

hope it all goes well chick

x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006):

Goodness, girl! I want to tell you something now that I hope will forever 'empower you' in all love relationshipsin the future. You never, ever tolerate this type of abuse from anyone and this is abuse. I don't care who this guy is. He will not be your first and last love, dear..so learn to start standing up for yourself. Start loving yourself, by having the courage to dump this guy because you know...someone who loves you should never, ever abuse or hurt you. Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, kindness, consideration, for the other person. You're worth so much more and deserve to be treated with incredible respect. Please, dear, you can get help, you just have to tell someone. . A trusted adult like a teacher, or your parents can help you. You might feel like you have nowhere to turn, or you might be embarrassed about what's been going on, but this is when you need your familie's love/support the very most. And like mentioned before, think about getting into a 'self-esteem" building course because when you learn about self-respect, worthiness and self-love, you would never have allow a guy to treat you as low as this. Don't depend on just yourself alone to get out of this situation; there are good people in your life who likely would be shocked to learn what this guy has done to you. He's a sick, sick , very selfish, immature guy. Remember my dear--asking for help isn't a sign of weakness-it actually shows that you are courageous and you need help breaking away from him. Stand tall, believe in yourself and be strong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006):

Hi,

I think you know in your heart what you should do about this situation. No one deserves to be treated like that and if he respected you then he wouldnt treat you like that. I think you need to decide, that although you think you are in love, can you imagine what life would be like with someone who really loved you back? there is someone out there for everyone, i think you need to stop "seeing" him and find someone who deserves you.

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A female reader, andrea23 +, writes (12 October 2006):

andrea23 agony auntyou seriously don't need a loser like him sweetheart, he ain't worth the bothering about you can do much better than that piece of scum & there's better out there for you, a lovely young lad who'll treat you with the respect you deserve. that asshole you're with ain't worth your tears you should sling him well over the backyard walls & find someone who'll make you happy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006):

oh girl please don't waste your time on this waste of life!! How can you say you love someone who spits at you, throws chewing gum in your hair and hits you?? Thats not love!!!

He doesn't like you - he's only using you for what he can get off you sexually!!! He's not showing you any kind of respect or love to you that you deserved! Get rid of him as he will only end up ruining your self confidence for the future!!

There are plenty of other guys who will show you the respect that you deserve. No one has to put up with that kind of treatment!!! Be stronger than him and just walk away and NEVER go back!!!

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A female reader, snowbird Canada +, writes (11 October 2006):

snowbird agony auntWhat a prize jerk he is!

Sweetie, you need to love yourself before you will allow anyone else to love you.

Find a therapist to help you re-build your self-esteem - most of us need them at one stage or another. You are way too good to be treated this way, and you are hurting yourself if you stay with this creep.

I bet there is probably a sweet guy waiting in the wings, just breaking his heart because he can see what is happening to you, and wants you so bad!

This guy is not normal, and has some bad issues going on, do not allow yourself to be swept up with someone who is so willing to destroy you. Yes, he will charm you till the cows come home, but only till he gets what he wants - just read some of the other posts on this site, you will see you are not alone..

Stand up for yourself and be strong, and respect yourself

and your body.

In future, only give sexual favours to your trusted boyfriends who treat you with respect and do not hurt you or your feelings.

You deserve so much better than this, and he certainly does not deserve you!

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A female reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (11 October 2006):

beentheredonethat agony auntSweetheart....you are not in love with him and he is an ass. To him you are little more than an easy bit of flesh to jerk off on. Don't cry or ever speak to him again no matter what he says to you. From this moment forward he does not exist. You are worth more than that. If he'd given you money he would have shown you he valued you more than the way he's treated you.

He will be back with sweet talk and apologies and when you say NO or ignore him ...he will probably tell everyone you slept with him...your a slut and on and on. Expect this outcome. Your first mistake was you believed him after he'd already treated you unkindly...and you wanted Him to like you so much you thought his heart would follow his penis. Honey you are SOOOOO not the first girl to make this mistake and you won't be the last. It is a hard terrible lesson especially when you are crushing on Them and they use you and then act embarrassed to be seen near you.

Now take it from an old auntie...if he starts talking dirt about you...the best defence is a great offence....hehe.

"Randy Ralph says you slept with him and you'll sleep with any boy."

"Really? he said that? Well he did kiss me..then I thought he wet his pants....maybe that was the best he could do...ohhhh..poor him. I only kissed him because I felt sorry for him....I guess he realised that. I don't like him...he has a nasty temper...like a little boy don't you think?"

Don't' cry...look at him longingly or try to ever be in his presence again. He is an evil gross Booger and if you do happen to see him...that is how you should look at him.

Do not start another conversation with him or about him in any form...but be prepared for his nasty comments and he will soon look like the jerk he is.

Now you need to think about how you should be treated...it does not matter if your Fat, have stringy hair, the biggest nose in school, hairy arms, funny teeth or backward feet....a boyfriend is not worth lowering yourself to be with. If you have to give him sex to get him to speak to you....you are less than a prostitute in his mind...at least they get paid cash for effort. You are a young girl with your whole life ahead and every thing you do now will live in your heart forever. (not to mention may live in your body and kill you...STD's they aint' what they used to be) Take pride in yourself for there is a boy...or several who will find you perfect...beautiful...and will treat you like a princess...but only if you value yourself as one.

You may be to advanced for local boys to see you...you may go years without a boyfriend....and it does not mean for one second that you are not the most special girl in the world to someone worth you effort. Wait for him...or them. There will be lots of wonderful boys they just don't get delivered like Pizza...be patient because you don't want to meet the most wonderful boy in the world preggo with some little butt-heads baby and all your dreams stolen by you own need to be someones girlfriend even if just for a few days. wait to be cherished...it is never fun to have to chase them only to find rejection.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (11 October 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntJeeze Louise! Spits at you, throws gum at you, hits you!What's the question here?!

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A male reader, Abacadaba United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2006):

Abacadaba agony auntDont have anything to do with him, the guys a jerk, hes using you for stuff by the sounds of it. Guys who treat girls like that deserve to be shot, theres no need for it. Dont see him again.

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