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I am having a relationship with a woman 1/2 my age. She has sex with other men. I don't mind but my family does

Tagged as: Family, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2021) 11 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2021)
A male United States age , anonymous writes:

Im a 75 year old man who would like some honest advice...my entire family is upset with me..for over a year now Ive been having a relationship with a 36 year old woman..we spend alot of time together, traveling the world, going to restaurants, shopping, but due to medical reasons of mine, we do not have sexual relations..and the doctor says i cannot take viagra pills..shes a young healthy woman with normal desires that unfortunately i cannot satisfy..and it was very obvious to me that she was becoming more and more frustrated over this.. so months ago i told her that she could see another man, if she wanted, to satisfy her strong desires, which at first didnt seem to interest her at all.. but after a month or so she told me that she had been in contact with an old boyfriend, her own age, and that they had sex a few times already... i told her that i had no problem with it, as long as she's happy, which she has been more than ever lately..we get along great..the problem-my family especially my kids, who are older than her, think i've lost my marbles letting her see another man for sex...I've been around the block a few times and realize more than ever that life is short.. its my life, and im happy and thats all that matters..am i so wrong?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2021):

Own it.Admit to yourself what she really is.She is a prostitute or some may say call girl.All she cares about is the color green as she uses you for your money.Maybe if you own it your kids will get it.You are lonely but let me tell you straight you are being used.You are only a mark to get money off of.She more than not has many marks that she is taking advantage of as well as you.Did you see that last sentence?She is useing you and taking advantage of you.You don't think so?Well tell her you lost all your money and now you are very poor...but see you are so glad to have her when you tell her you can no longer afford gifts or vacations.Watch how fast you are replaced with the next sugar daddy in line.Spend time with your family...take the grandkids on vacation and tell them what it was like when you were a kid.Those are really the people who love you..your family.Time is short..love your family.They are the ones who have your back not some fly by night hooker.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2021):

this is in response to the anonymous male who says he is the same age as me, and also has health issues...you have plenty of company when it comes to people who have made some bad choices in their younger days...which includes yours truly...lol..so dont let the past get you down...its over with..try to look forward in a positive way, especially concerning the people who mean the most to you, before its too late...my children are upset with me over this one issue, but we still love each other...and btw i know im no Burt Reynolds, never was, but unlike you i feel like i am still attractive to other women..maybe my sense of humour?? I also wish you all the best

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2021):

I am the same age as you OP and I have health issues too. I no longer can get it up. It is very frustrating but TBH I wouldn't dream of doing what you are doing.

I had my fling in life and it is over now, it will be total maddness to think that I can be attractive to any woman anymore. W

hat little savings I have accumulated over the years, I feel my three grown-up kids are entitled to. I would rather leave it to them as a final gift to remember me. I could have had a much more satisfying life than I had if I had known better, I have made some wrong decisions and choices at my younger years that affected my whole life. Nothing criminal I assure you just bad choices of opportunities thrown at me.

I wish at times if there is a life after this one. I wish if we could go back and given another shot at life. But most probably that is it. We had our shot good or bad we just have to accept it. I wish you all the best.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2021):

Can't take Viagra issue: I'm in my 70s and I can 69 with my younger lady like I was 40. But when I drive my erect penis in her vagina I soon lose the erection. I believe it's too much stress on the rest of my body the blood leaves for other places. But with Viagra that's not a problem. I get pretty beat at the happy ending time. My doc has me exercise with an annual stress test to prove I can fuck with the blue pill. My last test was actually my best one in 5 years. Ask your doctor about 69 and blowjobs. He heard it all. Ask him about an exercise regiment to get you Viagra ready.

I wouldn't care either if my young laid got laid elsewhere, but I wouldn't go telling anyone. Some things are taboo.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (18 April 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThe other aunts and uncles have pretty much said it all. However, I do have a couple of questions of my own (strange how some posts demand more questions than advice):

1. Who pays for everything when you travel/eat out/shop? Does she contribute anything financially or do you cover all the expenses? I'm betting you cover all expenses, which basically makes you her sugar daddy and her your paid companion.

2. Have you no imagination? You do realize you can satisfy a woman sexually without needing to penetrate her, or is this not something you and/or she are willing to explore?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2021):

OK.

Mybe your kids would have been more understanding if you called her what she is - she is NOT your gf.

If she has sex with other men and you are paying for everything, well, do I have to spell it out for you?

Whatever you may think, it is also their business since you are their father and she is sending your money.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (18 April 2021):

kenny agony auntI can quite see where your children are coming from, anyone looking at this relationship from the outside is slightly worrying.

My parents are still happily married in their 70's. But if it was a scenario where my father was dating someone who was 36 i think i would be very concerned indeed.

Its a shame when things have to boil down to something of a financial nature because at the end of the day your health and happiness is what matters.

Who is the guy she is dating? Is it really an ex?. Are they exclusive, or is it just sexual?.

Is she self sufficient, does she have her own money and pay for things?. When you go away traveling the world, going to nice restaurants etc do you pay for it all?.

All i'm going to say is i don't blame your kids for being worried about you, its normal, they don't want to see you get taken advantage of, or fleeced.

Just enjoy your life, have fun and be happy, but you can still do all this while airing on the side of caution.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 April 2021):

Honeypie agony auntHere is the thing, YOU are an adult, SHE is an adult.

What the two of you decide is OK between you two and in YOUR relationship, THAT is on you (both).

She isn't your GF though (if you ask me) she is your COMPANION.

I can see why your kids think this is iffy. I would feel the same way if some woman in her 30's/40's were "dating" my own father (who is 80). I would think it was for financial gain, however, I suppose he can do with his money as he pleases. He actually HAS a GF but she is in her 70's and she IS dependant on my Dad financially which, to be honest, I don't like. Because she has a SUPER wealthy son and daughter - so why is my DAD carrying her financially? (they don't live together because she refuses to live in the house that was my mom's, yet she is TOTALLY OK spending my MOM'S money. yeah, I'm not a fan of her, can't you tell? )

I just want my dad to be happy. So I don't give my 2 cents there. If it means there is will NOTHING left of the inheritance that my MOM left for me and my brother (it is in my Dad's trust until he dies because I didn't want him to have to deal with selling 2 houses and various family and nonfamily items, taxes, etc., and I felt that my MOM's money was in a sense more his than my brother's and mine. If that makes sense. I do understand that it might mean there is nothing money-wise left for me. Then so be it.

The only thing I told my dad was that SHE (his lady friend) is an alcoholic and that HE ought to not buy, drink, or have alcohol around her if she is trying to get dry. Because that is just common sense, whereas my dad thinks she should "just" have some self-control. *eye-roll at my dad*

You write:

"we spend alot of time together, traveling the world, going to restaurants, shopping, "

So do YOU pay for everything? If so, she is definitely your PAID companion, not your partner. And you know what? If you are OK with this, enjoy it. Just don't be that old fool that thinks she LOVES you oh so much. She isn't with you for a fulfilling relationship (if you pay for all the trips food and shopping) she is with you for what you PROVIDE. In essence...

YOU ARE HER SUGAR DADDY.

You are 75, I think you have lived long enough to decide how you want to spend the remainder of your days and with whom. If your kids don't approve, Oh well. They don't have to. They are entitled to THINK whatever they like. But they can't dictate how you should live.

Live life, enjoy life. You can't always make everyone ELSE happy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2021):

If you and your girlfriend are both happy, I don't see the problem. I don't understand the idea that one's children have a say in how their parents decide to live their own life. I'm sure they wouldn't be so open to discussion about relationships if you were focusing on THEM.

My father would never have tolerated either myself or my adult sisters commenting on his personal life and quite rightly so, in my opinion. I wouldn't have wanted him to involve himself in mine.

I understand that at your age and really, at any age that you must grab happiness where you can find it and if your children don't understand that, maybe one day they will. I'm in my sixties and I say grab whatever happiness you can. But I would explain to your kids that you are happy, that your girlfriend is happy and they can either be happy for you or not. Up to them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2021):

Yes, my mental facilities are 100 percent, and i fully understand why my children are so suspicious and have these thoughts running through their heads.

I have not lost my mind, she is not slowly draining my lifes savings, and she is not having sex with multiple men, just one old boyfriend of hers. If my children are never ok with my lifestyle, then so be it..life is short and right now i am very happy...whats so wrong with that?

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (17 April 2021):

mystiquek agony auntOP, as long as you have your mental facilities and are fully aware of what is going on, of course you have the right to do what you want to do. It certainly looks like you are fully cognizant but I certainly get where your children are coming from.

If you were my father I would be very concerned! You are seeing a woman 1/2 your age, younger than your kids and she is having sex with other men. What are they supposed to think? They aren't thinking that you are happy as much as they are thinking "Has he lost his mind? Is this woman using him? Is she going to take all of his money and leave us with nothing?"

Maybe they are right, maybe they aren't. I realize life is short and if she makes you happy and you are comfortable then your children will just have to deal with it. I hope you are being smart and careful. I honestly would not like it at all if my dad was doing what you are doing and I'd certainly be suspicious and voice my thoughts to my dad. I would be respectful but I would most certainly talk to him. The whole situation just isn't quite the normal. The odds are your kids are NOT going to ever be ok with what you are doing. I wouldn't be and I'm in my late 50's.

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