A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello all, well i'm 36 and after a crappy divorce am back with my parents, had one disappointing boyfriend since but have been single for a good while and would like to meet someone now.. well i have and we went for a drink last night, hes 31 and a proper blokes bloke into rugby and stuff but also nice, i dont think he appreciates how nice and hes not had a girlfreind for about 4 years as hes kinda set in his ways... rugby, pub with lads etc.. anyway we went out and had a great night and had a laugh and i felt like we had a connection, i went back to his and we had a coffee.. we ended up kissing and groping but thats all, i just got carried away we both did.. anyway as i'm busy for the rest of the week he said about me going round tonight so i said yes and have been excited all day about him.. so he has just texted me to say ' yes definately come - dont want to presume but do i need to pick up any protection, its not something i have lying round the house hope you dont mind me asking' well it blew my legs off and my little heart sunk.. i know i shouldnt have gotten all gropey but i was tipsey but i am gutted that he is only looking forward to seeing me cause he wants to get his legover??? help i like him and i have played this all wrong - can i come back from this ??? i know ive been silly please help xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): Glad you got it sorted!
Enjoy Sunday and don't forget your condoms...(just kidding!!) ;-)
P.s. Maybe if it works out you can have a laugh with him about his omlette! lol x
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Nicely done. Sorry to hear he's not much of a cook, ah well, at least you've got things back on the right track. Have a nice date! Don't get too tipsy next time. ;) And have a lovely time!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (29 February 2012):
 He thinks you're going to put out... and that is ALL any guy wants.....
IF you choose to be his tart, then HE will have gotten what HE wants.... and you can spend the next few days/weeks/months wondering "WHAT the heck did I do wrong?"
P.S. What you will have done wrong is put out!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi guys thanks for the advice, i sent a text as you advised and it has seemed to work he apologised and said he felt embarassed for getting it wrong... but i did say good on him for being sensible albeit a little too early, anyway i went round and he cooked me omlette probably the worst i have ever tasted but i smiled with every bitter mouthful as you do :) i do like him and i seriously think he hasnt a clue - next time we see each other will be sunday probably and we are going out somewhere... thanks for your advice i like it when people tell me straight xx
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 February 2012):
And you will have to apologize for sending out the wrong signals by getting tipsy and getting gropey. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 February 2012):
Whoa, there boyo, he's a bit cheeky to expect that! I'd take a BIG step back and maybe change up his expectations. Don't feel so down on yourself, you were caught up in the moment. Nows the time to set him straight, and pay attention, this man thinks second dates may involve sex. Is that really a good sign?
I think it would have been far more sensible of him to go quietly buy protection and put it aside and no need to mention it to you. What a question!
I don't like that you are going over to his place now, the more I think of it.
Can you reframe the date? "Whoa, Billy, we had a nice evening but we are LOOOOONG way from needing protection just yet. I need to get to know you. Now I'm feeling perhaps we should go out somewhere instead. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, okay?"
I guess you DO mind him asking, and as he asked if you minded him asking, you may as well be honest with him. Tell him so, you don't have to be mean or dramatic about it but just say, "um no, we aren't at that stage yet. I am VERY surprised you asked and a bit put off. Sorry, you asked for honesty, so you are getting it." Maybe that will rock him back.
You have nothing to lose here. He's done one red flag item. Let's see what he comes back with. Maybe he's a clumsy lout who didn't think before he hit 'send.'
Be honest, be brave, you have nothing to lose!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): He didn't presume, as he said, he just asked if he should buy protection. However you shouldn't have agreed to go to his place for a 2nd date - that's like saying you want to pick up where you left off.Nor should you have gone back the first time, it gives out the wrong signals
So, take a step back, give out the signals you want to give. If you want long term,then take your time. If it is all he's after then at least you'll know sooner rather than later.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
 HI
I think his just nervous and playing it safe, as you both had a little fondle pryor to this. Just text back oooh cheeky, not just yet lol. If his been single for four years, his probably right out of the dating knowledge.
Dont take it to heart just yet.
Mandy x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): I'm your age group, and I don't think he meant it like that, at least he was thinking of yours and his health!
I would laugh it off, say you were a bit tipsy last night, and text something like 'No you don't need to get any protection yet cheeky, lol, all good things come to those that wait' ;-) or something along those lines.(If you are sure you do not want to sleep with him yet!)
If he says he can't make it or something else has come up, then you will have your answer. Maybe drive there so you won't be tempted to drink.
Oh and don't stress about the gropey stuff, we have all done it one time or other under the influence of drink! It's not the end of the world! x
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