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I am falling out of love with my bf and want to break-up but he says if we do he will hurt himself. Please help, I feel trapped.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 January 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *izzbrannon writes:

I'm 14 years old and me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 4 months 2 day. I really do love him but i'm not sure if we should stay together. he's really great but i feel like i'm falling out of love with him.

He says he loves me but he has stopped doing the things he used to do. I want to break up with him but i feel trapped because he say he'll start cutting himself if i do and i don't want that to happen??

please help

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A female reader, mizzbrannon United States +, writes (28 January 2008):

mizzbrannon is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you misskin for your help i found it really helpful.me and him are still together. our reaationship has grown even more. an yea i think i was really confused but we had a talk an i told him that he cant keep saying that he will cut hisself. since the talk he has stopped an our relationship is really great.

thanx so much miss kin

an thnk you laura

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A female reader, MissKin United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2008):

MissKin agony auntYou begin by saying you 'really do love him' and follow it up with 'you think you're falling out of love with him' aswell as 'you think you shouldn't be together'.

I think it's obvious that you're rather confused about how you feel. Make sure you're making the right decision.

His threats are extreme and must make you feel like you have no way out. It could just be that he loves you and knows you love him and does not understand the reason for you wanting to leave.

Make sure you have a long, well communicated talk to him about how you're feeling - see if you can work it out together.

Regardless of if you love him or not, if you wish to leave him then he is showing that he isn't mature enough to respect your wishes.

If you decide you do really still love him, maybe you should think about his reaction. No one should use threats like this to trap someone they care about and perhaps he should seek counselling for such thoughts.

You're young and love is hard. Don't try to take this all on yourself, speak to an adult, a teacher, a friend, a counsellor, even a doctor or ring the samaritan helpline. Someone will help talk things through with you if your boyfriend is unwilling to see reason.

Best wishes,

Miss K.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (13 January 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntHe is using threats to stop you from leaving.He is holding you to ransom. Whether they are real or empty threats we do not know.If you think , you must leave, then there is nothing you can do about him. If any untoward incident happens , it is not your fault. No one can take away your freedom.

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