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I am confused about orgasms.

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Question - (9 February 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2010)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

me and my bf r confused about orgasm..last month he fingered fast and i moaned with excitement(the excitement was at its height)..and sudddenly there was some jelly like substance...is this known as orgasm?and how to self masturbate?and how to reach orgasm by self masturbating?plz help.

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A male reader, Heartbroken in love United States +, writes (9 February 2010):

Did ur body tense up when u got excited? The assumption is usually that u would know if you achieved orgasm. If it just felt good but u didn't have a peak or a climax then you probably did not orgasm.

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A female reader, purpleprincess United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2010):

When I was your age I had the same issue. I wasn't sure how to orgasm or if I had and didn't know. I was confused especialy through porn I'd seen on male friends computers mags etc and I had a diferent picture in my head of wot I thort it would be like. I think bcoz I was so eager to orgasm it put me on edge especting to much off myself.it woz a concern coz he was older and I felt silly I hadn't. It took a few yrs to get use to wot we both like etc and now it hapens regularly I know how to orgasm alone and with a partner which might I add it help to guide them threw tel the boyf wot u like and when thing start feeling nice be aware of wots being touched etc and let him know you like it. Relax and focus on the enjoying it bit and getting to know eachothers bodys and the rest follows xx

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2010):

BettyBoup agony auntHi there.

An orgasm is when you reach the hight of excitment, the muscles in your vagina contract and spasm, which sends endorphins round your body and feels like a wave of pleasure running from your groin around your whole body. You will know when you have had an orgams because afterwards you will feel extremely satisfied and you wont feel the sexual urge after you have finnished orgasming.

The jelly like sustance is what women produce. This can be after an orgasm or can happen from being aroused. You might have heard the term 'being wet'.

If you have never masturbated before I'd suggest trying it on your own to find out what you like and how to make you reach orgasm. Try having a nice warm bath to relax you. Then get into bed, make sure you won't be disturbed and just touch yourself and see what happens. Some people find it easier to orgasm than others, so dont worry if it takes time or if it doesn't happen the first time. Perhaps try buying a basic vibrator as this helps some people. Try rubbing your clitorus or try the vibrator inside your vagina. Find out what works for you :)

Hope this helps!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

No that was not an orgasm. When you have an orgasm you will KNOW, trust me. Its like an explosion in all of your body that feels so wonderful. Maybe you were very close to having an orgasm (since you mentioned the excitement was at its height), but you weren't able to tip over the top and actually have an orgasm.

How to masturbate? You use your own fingers and rub them against your clitoris, what works best for me though is to use the shower head and pray water on my clitoris. That offers better stimulation. You can also use a vibrator. Remember that the clitoris is NOT your vagina! So when you want to reach an orgasm you must focus on our clitoris! The clitoris is for women like a mans penis is for guys, it's actually made out of the same tissue, so that when the gender is determined, what would have become a penis on a guy becomes the clitoris on a girl.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

This might have been an orgasm, although the jelly-like stuff is probably just your natural lubrication, as girls dont ejaculate like boys do. You will know if you have an orgasm tho, its very intense, you will want more and more stimulation until you feel an explosion type of feelig and then you will be too sensitive to be touched any more! :)

If you want to masturbate, take some time when you have time to yourself, and start thinking sexy thoughts, then touch your genitals, and just do what feels good. Focus of rubbing and stroking your clitoris, at the front of your genitals, and use LOTS of lubrication, and just keep going till it feels AMAZING! :)

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