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I am comparing every man to my ex. How can I move on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2015)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

About seven months ago, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me completely out of the blue. There were no warning signs whatsoever so it really rocked me. We had been living together for two years and were about to move into a new house and he said he just couldn't do it.

He is already in a very serious relationship and very much in love.

I'm finding it really hard to move on. I still love him and I've found myself fantasising about him coming back to me and things working out, even though I know there's just no way it's going to happen. It's well and truly over.

I've tried seeing other people casually and I've done everything I can do to move on - I have an amazing group of friends, I've been going out, spending lots of time on myself and focussing on my career.. But I still think about him every single day and it's very painful.

What can I do to move on? I feel like I'm never going to. I'm comparing every single other man to him. I'm keen to move on completely, and I feel stupid for caring so much because he's obviously 100% moved on, and did so straight after he left me.

Heart broken! Any advice or stories from people who have been in similar situations would be greatly appreciated.

View related questions: broke up, move on, my ex

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (27 October 2015):

This is a very painful siuation for you and its not easy to deal with.But please just for a moment-take a few steps back and look at the situation in an cool manner.[1]After wonderful years with you- he just left-on his side this was very cruel to you...but he only thought of himself.[2]Even if he did come back to you-You would have a problem that you would be afraid to Trust him-maybe he cant trust himself...[3]He could do the very same with his present girlfriend.Would you consider to chat to a counsellor and get some help that way.In the meantime live life to the full and keep busy-You never know MR RIGHT could be a round the corner .Kind wishes NORA B.

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A female reader, Lemmie United States +, writes (27 October 2015):

Honestly, this happened to me. I was so destroyed over my ex ( we dated for 2 years) he moved on and I didn't. But two years after we broke up he was into me again and confessed how much he loved and missed me. We are back together now and we are happier than ever. If you love him then don't move on. Still live your life to the fullest and you can still have things with other guys but don't forget about your love or force yourself to move on bc anything could happen and if he's the one he'll come back:)

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