A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My situation is draining me..I am an early 30s woman in love with a much younger woman. We met online, and well..we became very close friends and soon feelings started to develop and we fell in love. It was weird for both of us-I don't consider myself gay (I must be though, right?) and neither of us has ever been with a woman before, but I believe she could be the love of my life. We've met twice, and spent a few nights together and it's been great every time. I have plans to see her this weekend, but it's looking like they're gonna fall through. The situation has changed because, well, she is in the military, and just finished boot camp and we've finally been able to talk on the phone for about the last week, but it's been nothing but fighting. She's frustrated because she's kind of being held where she is and can't leave yet and has no freedom yet (no cell or laptop, which she'll be able to get in a couple of weeks) and seems to take that frustration out on me. My problem is that before she left, we were very close and talked every day and I became very attached, so I feel her pulling away a little-she has to, the situation dictates it-and I don't know how to handle it. How do I relax and not be so needy? How do I trust that when things can get back to somewhat-normal, they will? I am worried I'm trying to hold on too tight..I just need suggestions for going with the flow a little more and not putting pressure on her, because it's causing problems. Realistically, I should be able to put pressure on her, and she should be ok with it if she loves me, but it just creates friction. I am at a loss.
View related questions:
fell in love, met online, military, too tight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, so-n-love +, writes (3 April 2007):
 I can sooo, understand where you are comming from. First of all you are not at a loss. I am a lesbian and my partner is also in the military. What your partner is going through right now is probably tech school, and in tech school you have to earn all your freedom. And yes she is taking it out on you but what you also have to know is that in tech school they kick thusands of people out for being gay, and any suspition of it and bam! there being investigated. you just need to hold out on the affection part for awhile if you care about her you will, once she is in opperational (a real base) it will be so much easier for her and less stress. JUst send her letters knowing that you will always be there for her no matter what. send her flowers sign it anonymous. But one thing i should tell you. (i sent my partner some flowers at work once, you have to put a guys name just in case her MTL (an officer) checks to see who it was from,) you just have to wait it out and it will all be worth it in the end, hope i could help!
|
