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I am a ratty person and I get annoyed when I crave something and don't get it

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *jmanny64 writes:

My GF wants a break away from sex as she said she gets hurt sometimes, im worried that this will make our r'ship break because I know sex aint the only thing in the relationship but it is one main key to a relationship. I'm a ratty person and I get annoyed when I crave for something and don't get it...

What should I Do!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntExcuse me, you said your girlfriend gets hurt during sex sometimes? Um, don't you realize that is a bad thing? Sex should not be painful.

What are you two doing that causes her pain? Have you talked about it? Are you a gentle lover? Her pleasure should be priority number one for you. Is satisfying your craving more important than her personal comfort and well-being?

I hate to break it to you, but most teenage boys are crappy lovers. They get so focused on their own orgasms and their own pleasure that they often forget about what the girl is experiencing. Sometimes everything they think they know about sex comes from porn movies, and they forget that porn is designed to sell to men, generally. They are not educational films. Forget everything you ever learned from a porn movie. It has virtually nothing to do with how a young, inexperienced girl would like to have sex.

Look, sex is important in a committed relationship, but so is communication and understanding.

If she is feeling pain, then you are doing something wrong. Go figure it out, talk with her, communicate and then maybe you can satisfy your cravings while remembering her own. In the meantime, ahem, you can be your own best friend.

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A female reader, shelleyanne United States +, writes (31 July 2008):

shelleyanne agony auntI know from experience that girls are terrified of losing their relationship to sex. Every friend I have has at one point told me they're taking a break from sex with their boyfriend because they don't want sex to take over. You are right that sex does play a part in a relationship, but instead of looking at this break from sex as a bad thing try instead to take it as an opportunity to work on the other important aspects of the relationship. Don't act grumpy and pouty about it to your girl, because you'll just be proving that sex is the most important thing. Be supportive of her decision, and in no time she'll come around.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008):

Is your gf getting hurt by the act of sex itself of is she talking about hurting emotioinally? Either way you are asking the wrong question, you should be asking how you can stop hurting her during sex! The fact that you didn't ask that quesiton just goes to show how little you care about her, so my advice would be to break up and find someone you care about.

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