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I am a good mother, but since my ex upset my kids they've distanced themselves from me. Is there anything I can do to get things back how they were?

Tagged as: Family, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2008)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

i have 5 daughters i have been a good mother. I met a man who upset them and was rude we have now finished but now the family have distanced themselves i have tried to be nice and friendly but i am disabled and no one visits me and i am heartbroken

the eldest daughter rings once a week which is not so bad she lives 10o miles away

the second daughter lives up the road i can never get her on the phone her husband is hostile to me and i am very upset

the 3rd daughter blames me for what the ex boyfriend said she is speaking after 2 years but still she does not ring i contact her

the 4 th daughter rings occassionally and is not bitter

the youngest daughter i have done a lot for and she says i have done nothing for her. I am so upset i feel like taking all there photos down and cutting them out of the will but i am a mother in the end and i cant cut any one out despite they are cruel and uncaring now i am disabled.

View related questions: disabled, heartbroken, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

You have a poisoned relationship not only with your ex, but also with the rest of your family. They will believe what they want to believe,no matter what you say. And as I see them,they don't knowhow to love. And even if you were the one at fault,they don't know forgiveness either. So just go on loving them,even if they never return your love. That's what God says we should do in our relationships with others.

God bless you. And perhaps, they too will find-out what Love is all about,Just keep on loving them, no matter what.

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

Dawnie agony auntHi, i think you should try and speak to your daughters, in a group and maybe individually. I do wonder what this man said/did for them to be this way, i do not have contact with my father and haven't for over 2 years. It was petty on his part and i have tried talking to him, he has remained nasty. He has tried getting at me by not sending me birthday/xmas cards, this all being because i told him not to come over once as I WAS ILL!!!! To be truthful his behaviour has been so despicable i would never speak to him again anyway. As far as your family are concerned if you have done nothing to deserve this treatment, try communicating with them once more. Maybe you could get a hobby or make other friends in the meantime? Trust me a good network of friends make all the difference and gets you feeling positive.

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A male reader, BadVoice United States +, writes (2 January 2008):

You are disabled? Maybe your need for a man because of your disability made you side with the man instead of your daughters and they feel betrayed. Many females who have low self esteem side with men who aren't worth a damn. In my 44 years, I have encountered over 100 women who have sided with men over their families.....causing amany a heartache. You will have to do a lot to repair the damage caused by this man....and yourself. You should have spoken up when the time arose! Do what you can to salvage the relationship with your daughters, but don't let pity be the forefront of your conversation.

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A female reader, hello1 United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

hello1 agony auntWhat was this man like? He must have been really bad to get all your daughters to turn against you, point is they think you weren't strong enough to protect them against this man. Youre going to have too say sorry and take things slowly

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A female reader, x-Happy-Feet-x United Kingdom +, writes (2 January 2008):

x-Happy-Feet-x agony auntwell i think you should organise a get together and have a really good time and actually have a say do say that you miss you and talk how its not easy for you to visit them and call them so ask if more communication can be done and i think you should maybe get a cat or something that can keep you company even another man a carer or something hope this helps xx i do no how you feel cause my nan is exactly the same disabled lonely has dementure shes got 3 daughters 1 son 2 of them my dad nd 1 of her daughters speak to her her husband died which was really bad she then got ill and became disabled so i know what you must be feeling like i dont understand why they dont visit you because my auntie who is nice to her lives 3 hours away from my nan and she comes to visit her then drives home much later

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

Ok, well i have no clue why the others are being cruel to you but the youngest one might be like that because she feels she is abondoned and alone and that she has no mother because your in a home, also if she is in under 16 then she also could be feeling like she has missed a childhood without you there.

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