A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need to move on and forget about my ex completely, but I live in a small town and as my ex and i have so many mutual friends his is proving very difficult. He has been with another girl for over a year (it is a very rocky relationship but they are still together). His new girlfriend isn't very well liked but she is often in social settings where I would be, if I didn't hide away. Our break up was so messy, we slept together a few times during the last year as I was stupid enough to believe he had finished things with this girl for good, and although we will never get back together, I ended up spending the occasional night with him, only for him to go back to her a few weeks later. Not something I am proud of. He had cheated on me with this girl and she has been utterly horrible to me throughout the years. Yet he sticks with her.I now Truly want to put this behind me and move on, but I find myself thinking about him constantly. I torture myself with the fact he is with this girl and feel I am waiting for the day they announce that they are official, so I can cry all the more.We have so many mutual friends and as I live in a small town it is very hard to meet new people. Everyone knows everyone here. I thought about moving but the credit crunch is making that impossible. I have a great job, and great friends, but I cannot forget the horrible past and move on like most people do! I just want to lock myself away in case I see them together. They are very publicly affectionate, which kills me as he said he hated being like this and was never like this with me. It seems everything he said to me about how he wanted to be in a relationship was a lie, and all those things he couldn't be with me, he is with her.I know I'm torturing myself but I can't seem to stop. I keep myself as busy as possible and am now on anti-depressants as this has really effected me and my self esteem. I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago, and a lot of it stems from his treatment of me. Now I can't get over the fact he treats his new girlfriend so much better than he ever did me, despite the fact she is often very nasty to him and lies constantly.I sound like an pathetic loser, and I am 30! Life seems to be slipping me by. What can I do to move on aside from all the usual suggestions of keeping busy etc as I already do this.Please help!
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cheated on me, get back together, move on, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Eyespy17  + ♥, writes (29 January 2009):
First off, act like you are bigger and better than this past relationship. Even if you dwell on it privately, never let him or the new GF see.
If it's such a small town and there really is no one new to date, how about going out with your girlfriends in the next nearby town-city? Focus on yoursf during the week, and on weekends, get out of dodge so you don't have to chance running into them .
Another thought... How about joining match or eharmony? There has to be new guys within. 40 mile radius. Would be worth the drive .
Good luck, I wish u the best.
A
female
reader, didda123  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 So you feel a bit like you were the other woman don't stress about things it is as much his fault if not more he probably persued you!
Hold your head up high it is best to move on from these situations. There will be someone out there who deserves your love and will treat you as number 1.
Don't worry about how fantastic their relationship appears to be things are never quite what they seem as they are behind closed doors.
I know you say you are occupying yourself but you must build up a good social life with your friends you are still only young and will meet someone before long but you have to work on your self esteem for now as if you appear to be happy and confident on the outside this is a much nicer persona to put out people will notice you more rather than been depressed and introverted.
Why not take up a hobby which involves going to a college or do some form of excercise maybe even join a local gym if there is one in the area as these are always a good meeting place for many single people as well as families. You need to put yourself in the position of meeting new people. If you really throw yourself into this new lifestyle you will begin to feel much better not only physically but emotionally as your self confidence grows.
People will begin to notice you and when you are out with your friends they will be much more inclined to approach you feeling that you are a familiar face.
Good luck hope you give it a try you have nothing to loose but please don't dwell on your broken relationship anymore x
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