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I am 18 seeing a man double my age. Do I tell my mom or let things ride?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, *achatu18 writes:

Hi guys i really need your opinion on what to do. I have been seeing this guy who's going to be turning 37 this October, i am 18 turning to 19 next year February. I don't care about the age difference because we talked about it and we are cool with it but the problem is my step dad doesn't like him and my mom says he's too old for me(actually she thinks he's 26) . I told my mom that we are only friends. I want to hang out with this guy but my mom also wants me to be around her 24/7. Should i tell my mum that am seeing this guy or should i just let things stay as they are?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011):

I've been in relationships with a few older men and we are of a similar age. I told my parents and they went crazy, but then over time they began to accept it

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A female reader, swordandredrose United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

I think you should tell your mom about this. Even though she is not gonna encourage you, she's gonna give you some good advice. You're only 18 and I know you think you are old enough to make good decisions but trust me this is not true. Your mom never wants anything bad happen to you. Listen to her advice. Don't hide anything from her.

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A female reader, sachatu18 United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

sachatu18 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

sachatu18 agony auntThanks everyone. i guess the best way is to talk to my mom to clear things out and feel at ease with myself.

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A female reader, Challenged United States +, writes (1 September 2011):

I assume your parents love you and would never want to see anyone or anything hurt you. If this is the case you are very, very lucky!! Be honest with them and listen to their advice. believe me when I tell you that experience speaks for a lot!

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (1 September 2011):

The Realist agony auntWell, the way I see it is that you have two choices here. The first is that you don't tell her and you will have to lie and sneak around to see him until your mom does find out and things most likely won't go well. But if you do wait it out you may be in a position where you know you want to be with him so when she does find out you are prepared to deal with the concequences. The second choice is that you explain your feelings and hope that your honesty will allow her to see things your way. This is the better choice but if she does not approve it will be an awkward situation.

She will worry and has reason to worry so you need to make sure that this guy is worth all the trouble.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (1 September 2011):

angelDlite agony aunttell them. you should not keep secrets like this from your parents, they should know where you are and who you are with, (for your own safety) expect them to have a go at you, but just tell them you are an adult now and have the right to see him if you want to. they are only looking out for you and don't forget- they are older and wiser than you are, so don't just diss their concerns, even though ultimately it is your choice, at least hear them out

x

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 September 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntIf you were 55 and your 18 year old daughter said she was "seeing" a 36 year old man. What would you do?

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