A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16. My boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for almost a year now and we had a long talk and I decided that I was ready to give up my virginity to him. He's done it before and I want it to be special for the both of us. Does anyone have any suggestions for places where it'll be more intimate than my bedroom, or perhaps some ideas to add to the ambience of the whole thing? I really appreciate the help. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Santashelper +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Well you can do it in a hotel room. light some candels. Take hot steamy showers together. stuff like that
A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Before you go ahead and do this, I want to let you in on some valuable information that you really should know. This is going to be quite long, but please take the time to read it all because the message I'm bringing to you is highly important and could very well save your life or your future.
I can say with plenty of experience and other women's shared experiences on this website and others...that not a lot of women enjoy sex the first few times they do it.
The only reason sex will be special for you is the fact that you are doing it for the first time. Young, inexperienced people, both men and woman, are often too shy to talk about what they want and like (even though the act of sex is more intimate than talking about sex, go figure) and so first time sex is often unsatisfying, awkward, confusing and disappointing.
Not only that, but first time sex is often quite painful for the woman, and the man in question can be so nervous or so used to masturbating that he either loses his erection, ejaculates far too quickly, or feels too little stimulation to reach orgasm at all.
It takes, sometimes, YEARS of practice, knowledge and experience to 'get good' at sex. "Special" sex is the really good kind of sex, when you've been together with someone for long enough that you know exactly what they like and what brings them to satisfaction. The first few times you have sex it won't be anything NEARLY as good as down the road when you both open up and stop being so worried and nervous.
Until you know your own body, you cannot teach him how to please you. Since men are not born with a clitoris, they often don't know where or what it is, or how to even touch a woman's body in the correct way so as to not hurt her. Men are used to masturbating, which they do often very fast and very roughly, and since that is what they like...many of them assume that is what YOU will like too, which is oftentimes FALSE. Since men are not mind readers, you must speak up about the kind of touch YOU like.
If you have ever masturbated to orgasm before, make sure that you teach him how to touch you correctly if he doesn't know how to already. If you have an orgasm before he tries to penetrate you, it will not hurt as much because your muscles will be relaxed and you will have more natural lubrication in and around your vagina.
Most women can only reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation and cannot reach orgasm at all through intercourse, so do not feel as though there is something 'wrong' with you if you cannot orgasm during intercourse...you are normal.
Intercourse, in my opinion, is not necessary for a woman's satisfaction, as women can more easily reach orgasm through manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris...or if there is a vibrator involved. A woman's orgasm is just as necessary for sexual happiness and involvement as a man's orgasm, so keep trying. The first few times he touches you, you probably will not orgasm since it is another person, a new person, and it takes practice to know what a different partner likes. Patience is critical here, on both your parts.
Lastly, protect yourself from STI's and pregnancy. Before you two get sexual in any way, make sure you BOTH visit a clinic and get a full STD workup...including the blood tests for AIDS and hepatitis. You are both too young to worry about a potentially fatal disease -or- a child. Use at least two proven methods of birth control, three if you're really smart. Hormonal birth control such as the pill, patch, shot or ring are great, but using a condom AND SPERMICIDE (test it on your inner arm first to make sure you aren't allergic) will further protect you and your future.
But remember, sex is risky. There is NO 100% absolutely safe method of birth control or STD prevention, the only way to NOT get pregnant or catch anything is to avoid all sexual contact whatsoever...so before you have sex, make sure your boyfriend and yourself BOTH AGREE on what you will do if you get pregnant or catch a disease. These kinds of talks are hard, but NECESSARY to your sexual health and well being.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 It really doesn't matter where you do it, its not gonna partiactularly make it anymore special, you just gotta set the scene, like something you'd expect from a movie, and really just feel the connection, feel the love, thats what makes it special, not the place :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): Hi,
I hope you have made your mind and you are really ready for this. Because, you may feel pain and this pain can turn this special event a horror day that you never forget it. What i advice you will be to think of it more seriously again and do it when you are really ready for it. Even in your bedroom or in a kingsuit of a 5 star hotel, you will never forget that pleasure minutes. But first get prepared for it mantally ;)
TUNC
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): The important thing is that you are genuinely ready, keen, and otherwise in to it. It doesn't matter what you wear -- it'll be gone soon enough.
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