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I am 14, pregnant and haven't told anybody! What do I do?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 August 2007) 82 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok so i had sex with my bf and we used a condom and i still got pregnent, I'm only 14 and nobody knows, not even my bf, I'm scared to tell anyone, my mom said if i ever got pregnant that i would have to get an abortion.

What do i do???

HELP PLEASE

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010):

Heloo .. im 14 years old and i might be pregnant. i told my mum and dad and they cant trust me for anything now. if i am i really would like to keep the baby but i no if i do i would get kiked out my house and my boyfriend would leave me "/ i wudnt know what too doo .. have an abortion make everyone happy exsept for me or keep it and have the conserquences "/?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010):

I am really sorry that you all had to go through this, and I know that it wasn't intended, but by the way you are all saying 'I'm fourteen and pregnant too' really surprises me. I mean, aren't you all using condems and are on the pill! I mean, all these pore babies... Anyways. I am fourteen and proud to say I'M NOT PREGNANT! I do want kids, but not for a long time, untill I can actually support my child.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

I really feel for you, It must be so hard to try and deal with this all alone. I understand that that you are nervous about telling your parents and boyfriend but I promise, as soon as you do you will feel like a weight has been lifted. If you cant sit down with them just blurt it out and at least it will be off your chest. Nobody can tell you what to do, but listening to options and opinions of those you love or anonomously will let you make the right decision. Dont forget you are not the only one this has happend to, hundreds of girls your age around the world are falling pregnant. I really hope everything works out for you, chin up hun you will be fine xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010):

Okay, all of the pregnant 14 year olds or any age that your still thinking your parents will be dissapointed.

Why? I mean i'm your age. I don't get it. if you know they'll be dissapointed. Think about it, why would they be dissapointed? I actually am shocked that how many people are here on this... well i don't know what this is really but whatever. I think that you should think about an abortion before talking to your parents because i'm sure the first questions they'll be asking are with who and what are you going to do. So think about it, i don't approve of abbortion. But right now all i can see in my mind is a baby in an orphanage or sitting with its grandmother while they're mom is at school. Or maybe with they're mother in some dingy apartement. I know i must sound so naive. telling you what to do, but i really want you to do the right thing. Good luck!

Oh and are you're parents religious? if so extra luck! My parents would murder me! If they're not still its always the hardest thing. (My Friend)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010):

hey i think u should be onest with your parents

because if they find out by someone else they will be ten times more mad at u. i have made many mistakes in my life i did have sex at a very young age u shouldent do it cuz it can ruien your life forever. another thing is i hate obortion its not the childs fault they deserve to live there life dont ruien theres cuz of your mistake

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010):

im 13 and pregnent with twins noone nows but me my bf left me hes 15 and idk wat to do so stay strong honey:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

i am 14 and pregnant. I have told my parents and they are happy for me. you should tell your boyfriend and then both sit down and tell your parents it will be nerve racking but i am sure they will listen to you and help you out. me and my lad sat our parents own to tell them and they were upset because i am 14 but they are helping me through it. You should deffentily go and tell them. Good Luck xx

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (15 March 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntThis thread is going to give me nightmares..."shiver"

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A female reader, TaylorNicole United States +, writes (15 March 2010):

Well, I just lost my virginity about a week ago to my boyfriend of 7 months. I'm 14 just like you. We didn't use a condom and we didn't really thought about using one. I was suppose to have my period soon but it hasn't started yet. We are scared that I may be pregnant. He told me that if I am that he will be there for me through it all. I think you should tell your parents and hope they will support you. :) I'm scared that if I am pregnant how my family, friends, and people at school will react. But just stay strong and I know you will make it through!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010):

im 14 and i think i might be pregnant,im takeing a test tommrow to see for sure but i already know i am.Me and my boyfreind steven (16 years old) have been trying for a couple months now. We really want to have a baby together and we are very excited, im just scared to tell my mom and my dad because i know they will be very dissapointed in me but i know they love me. The thing i am most worried about more than anything is my step mom...she has a daughter and she got pregnant when she was 18 and her mom (my step mom) made her get an aborition, and if my step mom tells my dad that she wants me to get an aborition i know he will listen to her, cuz he always does. i really want to have this baby, first of all because it is my first child, and second of all me and steven want this more then anything. But beside all my problems the thing i reccomend you do, is tell your parents and be stong about the whole thing, dont break (or at least try not to) tell your parents you want to have this baby. If they love you they will understand and help you and be supporitive through it all, after you tell your parents you will feel so much better and relived and it will also take a lot of the stress off, stress is not good for pregnant women. im telling you this from one 14 year old pregnant girl to another. i really hope you take my advice :) and i really hope everytnhing goes well for you and your baby. I hope your babys healthy.

-Savanna in Michigan.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010):

Well I'm 15 I have a close freind with a child and I may self have a you son who will be a year old in April!!! I love my son to death but I defently regret the sex that lead to him! I really love the father Mathew but he tricked me into drinking with him and wen I was drunk he tool advantage over me all I remember is puking ALOT!!!! So to be honest don't have sex unless your sure it's at the right time with the right person!!! And if your pregnant go to a church and let them know, ask if the priest will go with yew and be there wen you tell your parents!! That way the can't beat the crap out of yew p.s everyone I know who told there parents they were really pisssed offf but they eventually accepted it and my home was pretty disfunctional till my son klay was born, my parents and brother love him to death

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010):

Well iam also fourteen. I have a bstfriend who got preganant she was fifteen and I wanted a baby just lie her someone who would lve me so I had sex with my boyfiend with hopes of getting pregnant but he didn't want a baby I was 13 he was17 he was awesome we spen everyday day 2gether!!! But I got pregnant cried my self to sleep for weeks began wearing big clthes with intent to hde the pregnancy I told my bofriend and h moved ou of state!$! Also had a miscarige after that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

What the heck is wrong with you people! You are only 14!!!!!! You shouldn't be having sex...

Sex is the best when the time is right wen u wait... it makes hell a lot more of a difference trust me. I'm 24 now and just had sex with my bf of 10 years. We were in love and we decided to wait... that's what you do WAIT!

Please please to all teenage girls out there SEX Is not the anwser.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

You need to tell your parents. My friend told me she was pregnant and is 14 and am not to tell anyone. Her situation is tricky as she had sex but then her mum found out somehow but is being really supportive but she is scared to tell the dad as rumours are going round the school saying that she said he raped her and he was at the young offenders intitute and everyone is really angry with her and the dad smashed her windows, so she is terrifed to tell him. With your situation, you need to stay responsible, and you never know, your parents might try and help you through this too, mabye not be happy about it, but it needs to be done.

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A female reader, Prepgirl1212 United States +, writes (10 February 2010):

Hii,My name is Robin Im 14 im from Texarkana,And i think i might be pregnant,Im soo scared cause of the fact that i dont no how too tell my parents,My parents are still together and me and my dad are really close and i dont no how too just tell them that i think im pregnant,I dont think that anyone in my family got pregnant at 14.

I dont no how they are gonna react,I have 3 brothers,and too of them are still babies there self!

and adding another one too the family is going too be hard!

I have already told my Boyfriend,And He said that What is already done is done that there is no going back now!

and he is going too be there with me through it all,But i just dont no how i can Focus on school and a baby at the same time,I no i should have thought about that before i had sex,And i no for a fact that abortion is not the answer,Adopition maybe but no Abortion!

Only 2 people no and thats my bestfriend and my boyfriend,

What kinda worries me is how people are gonna look at me and what there gonna think,and what my paents are gonna do,But i no that wouldnt make me get an abortion they are totaly AGINST that!

I just dont no what too do,Plzzz HELP?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010):

You need to tell your family, this has been done to my family and the girl is 14 like my son and told no one. we have 2 diabled children that we are caring for in our family and now to have to raise our 14 year olds mistake is hirrific. if she would have told us sooner an abortion could have been done, but now we are here facing another child who may also have a birth defect because she didn't tell anyone and take care of her or the baby we are all scared to death and don't know what to do,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010):

look i dont know what u girls are thinking... at 14 i was hanging out wit the girls all the time to think maybe i might be pregnant.... i just found out today that my wonderful 14 yr old niece is 6 weeks pregnant and she doesnt want to tell her parents...her parents are no longer together and they really hate each other....they had my niece when they were only 17 yrs old... while that maybe a part its also how u have raised them because her mother has never been a mother and her father is really sick to go under more shit right now...which im going to be the person to tell him.... but at least she did tell someone who can give her a piece of mind...just because ur pregnant doesnt mean we love you any less...maybe just upset this the wit u did and got urself into...it doent olny change ur life but everyone elses life around you... no child needs to have a child at this age....sorry if that hurts but u girls are no woman at ur age to raise a child and needs so much..... Tell ur parents soon dont wait the longer u wait the harder it will be...be strong.. god will lead u the right way...just believe....good luck cause u all r going to need it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

Im fourteen and just had a beautiful baby girl.it is really hard. You have to deal with being judging you for your decision no matter what it is. As long as your happy with it, it shouldnt matter what anybody else thinks. Telling you parents is the hardest part. Sometimes they dont react the way you thot they would...Just remember its your body and your baby.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

i am 14 and could be pregnant also.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010):

tell your parents they might be mad but its too late whats done is done. i know it was hard for me too. i got pregnant at 15 and my parents were furious but they told me "whats done. is done". i had my little girl on my 16th birthday. so get confidence don't be like Amy from the secret life of an American teenager and hide it at first. they will find out sooner or later so id tell them pronto.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010):

im 14 as well and im not pregnant,i had a dream i was but im not! i would hate to get pregnant because what would i do,im in the 8th grade and everybody would make fun of me,and id lose complete trust with my parents,if i were you id tell your mom u really need to talk to her,and take her to a room,and say something like"mom, you no how you said if i ever got pregnant id have to abort it? well im pregnant and i really want to keep the baby" things like that,and if you had a good mother she wouldent yell at you,cuz you would be afraide to go back to her for anything,so please do tell your mom

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

i'm 14 and pregnant also.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

oh my god, i am 14 and i think i'm pregnant too x i have told my mum and because i feel like i want to keep it, i am and my mum is letting me keep it. If you tell your mum how you feel she should come around. Trust.... thats all you need! x good luck , and i was so happy when i found out! were you? x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

if i was you i would talk to your mom and ask her to help you through it. your only 14 you still have a life ahead of you. dont ruin it by having a baby. even if you really want a baby wait until you think ur ready and old enough.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010):

I'm 14, and I think I might be pregnant I had sex with my boyfriend 4 times and my period is 5 days late first I told my bestfriend who calmed me down alot then I told my boyfriend who reacted really well, he's said he'll stick with me through the whole thing, alot of people will tell you ABORTIONS ARE A HORRIBLE THING but sometimes they're nessisary I'm going over my friends house in 2 day because she lives down the street from my boyfriend and were all gonna go to CVS together to get a pregnancy test if I am pregnant I'm getting an abortion, I LOVE kids and I want one some day but I can't have a kid this young it'll ruin my life for ever, I'll get kicked out and so will my boyfriend with out a doubt, I can't let that happen

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A female reader, Audrey27 United States +, writes (30 December 2009):

So this happened a long time ago so jw what did you do and how'd this all work out for ya? And girl I feel your pain. I had sex but my mama found out the day after. She wasn't to mad just shocked. But thank god I didn't get pregnant. And I hope you didn't get an abortion that's so sad.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009):

It's going to be ok.

I'm 14 and pregnant too, and i was scared as well ..

First, i told a really good friend. and she comforted me alot! and once i told her, i immediately felt better.

after that, I told the guy that got me pregnant but that didn't really make things all that better.

after that, i told my parent. I was eating supper and we were cleaning up. What i said was something like this:

"Mom,I'm pregnant. And i know you're going to be mad but i need to be responsible and I can take care of this. Talk to me when you think it over, i'm sorry and I love you"

and went to my room. Later she came in and we talked about everything and i told her the truth. She wasn't exactly happy about it but i think it could have gone worse.

I also heard that if you take a close friend with you when you say it, it's not so awkward

hope I helped,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009):

Hi I am 14 and I think I just got pregnant my bf knows and he said hes here for me all the way. He wont let me get an abortion and I dont want one. But my mom is awfull she hits me alot and shes going to hit me alot when she finds out. I dont know what to do. I dont want my baby growing up in a hell hole like I have, but I dont want to give it away. Can someone help me here please. I am scared to death!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009):

the best thing to do is to stay calm,

if you wind yourself up it is just going to cause more stress.

if you would not like to get an abortion then you need to confide in a friend/teacher/family member.

if you dont then they are bound to find out when your stomach starts getting bigger.

the worst thing your mum/dad is going to do is shout and be dissapointed but they willa come around and soon help you out.

also remeber having a baby this young can effect your life and career..

i hope this helped

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009):

If you cant trust anyone including your parents teachers or friends just remember the one thing that you can trust in is God. He will for sure help you get through this hard time in your young life.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

You really need to tell your bf! Its not gud to wait till the last minute to tell sumone something important.That starts problems. And its not your moms choice weather you keep the baby or not. Its your choice. And the best adivise i can give you is to not get an abortion! That baby didnt do anything to you! If you can lay down there and make the baby then you should be able to take care of it to. Dont have sex if you dont know how to deal with the consequences. But aboortion is not an option sweety! Im 14 too and i still would never get an abortion. If your not ready for the baby then your not ready for sex trust me!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

Hey girls,

I know you're all scared the best thing you can do - for you and your baby - is to tell a grown up one you trust even though you would rather die. I am 16 and I'm not pregers - never have been - but in my short 16 years I've learned a lot!

Good luck and best wishes!

Kendra

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009):

Okay well im 14 and i just found out im pregnant.! im in the exact same position as youh. but my mom got pregnant at 14 so hopefully she will understand and my dad past away 3 months ago so i dont hav to worrry about him. the worst part is the daddy of my baby doesnt know. and it turns out he had a different girlfriend the whole time.! i kno its gonna be hard but we will both make it through

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A female reader, kkatluvr33 United States +, writes (27 October 2009):

hey hun i know how you feel

i think i'm about 11 weeks pregnant

i'm afraid and only two people know

i feel your pain

we can work together through this

i want my baby to live and have

a great life even though

i made a mistake i will never regret my little

child

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009):

hii my name is kierra and im 14 and pregnant im scared not cus im havin a child is just ii mite die yuu no an my mom and my grandma are gonna hate me but ii feel so alone and in this world all i have is me my boyfriend and my future bby like i no its wrong and im to young butt it makes me happy and knowin im bout to have a child gives me a reason to push myself and be strong like um gonna make it like i got all who ii need yea its gonna b hard but uma do t cus im somebody and im not a hoe or stupid cus my bbys father is here and he is happy and so am ii and im a black lil girl so its harder on me but god will c me through

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009):

What the hell?

All of you saying "i'm 14 and pregnant" make it seem okay.

Hunny, i know you didnt MEAN to get pregnant.. But the first thing you have to do is telll your parents. Dont even worry about the boy. Your parents are the people who have raised you for 14 years! They will know what to do. & if you dont want to tell them, tell someone close to you who you can trust.. & who you will know who will help you.

I'm 14 & NOT pregnant, but i know where your coming from.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009):

I am 14 and pregnant as well. When I missed my first period, I knew I was pregnant. The first person I told was my boyfriend. I am 16 weeks pregnant now. He is still in my life and he is envolved. He is supporting me and someday hopes to marry me. My advice would be to tell your mother. I told mine. She was more comforting than I thought. You have to tell her so you can get help for your baby. I was afraid my dad would make me give my baby up too, but he legally can't make me give my baby up for adoption. I live in Washington State. Laws probably vary within the States. I am not sure if your mom can legally get you an abortion if you don't want one. Do some research. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to do. Everyone screws up and you tried being safe. Abortion is never the answer, it's never ok to kill a human being no matter what stage of life. Your parents love you no matter what. Maybe try talking to a counselor at school about adoption options, there are plenty of families out there just waiting for a little boy or girl. Please what ever you do don't kill this baby. Did you know he or she has a heartbeat already? How can you call say it's not a human life. Just stay strong, once you get past telling your parents, it won't be so bad. You can give the baby up, and continue on with your life. I wish you luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Im fourteen and pregnant. I found out when i was about eleven weeks. First i told my art teacher whom i was real close with. Then the baby's daddy, i broke up with him about two weeks before. I told my mom through a letter left on the counter on the last day of school. She took me out of school and yelled at me and we both cried. But now everytime she goes shopping she gets pulled into the baby section and comes home with tons of stuff for him. Im now five months pregnant, and honestly, i dont regret it. Feeling him kick is the best thing in the world. Good Luck.

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A female reader, Chloe20 United Kingdom +, writes (20 August 2009):

heeey. im 14 and im also pregnant, the first person i told was a close mate then my bf, my family took it hard at first and was all up for making me have an abortion but after we talked, they throught it werent always the best thing. i was scared to tell my mum but i told her over the phone cos i was to scared to tell her face to face. at the end of the day its up to you whether you have an abortion or keep it. cos its your body and your life. good luck :) xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009):

Well your mom is wrong you should not get an abortion. If your mom is not there find an adult that can understand you but also help you at the same time, but if you can't find someone like that try to find a person that got pregnant the same age you did. Mabey the can give you ideas about how they got threw being fourteen and pregnet.P.S dont take it out on your self.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

okay im 14 and 3 months pregnant. i think you should tell your bf first and then tell your mom. its better to tell some body who could help you first. i know its scary but trust me it will help you if you have support! good luck!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

Hey there! im 14 and pregnant i also used the morning after pill less then 24 hours later.Everyone in my family always said id be pregnant young and i guesss thhey jingced it cuz now look at me.! but my mom would help me out wit lil things but i guess this is life and life isnt always a box of chocolates right? sometimes its a box of dipers and baby wipez...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009):

I am also 14 and me and my boyfriend had sex 5 days before my highest ovulation date. We were also messing around the day before my highest ovulation date.

I start school the 27th or 28th of this month, and that is when I am also "supposed" to start my period.

So much stress...

I am terrified because I have been experiencing some of the symptoms.

As well as last night when I threw up a few times.

I have also been tired, but only because people in my family keep waking me up.

A lot of girls my age on a certain side of the family got pregnant in their teens and some were my age when they got pregnant.

I can't get an abortion because of religion purposes.

I have a feeling my family would be greatly angered at me getting pregnant.

I do not take birth control, I have no idea how to get where I need in order to obtain the pill.

I know that if I am pregnant that my boyfriend will stand by me. I'm just afraid of what my family will think.

And especially his, I almost got him kicked out of his house because I spent the night there because I was terrified of going home.

I convinced him to stay there one more year, then he would be able to come live with me.

They also told him that they didn't care what we did, as long as he didn't get me pregnant.

So just remember, you are definatly not alone!!!

I know you will go through much more than you can probably handle, having the child, but an abortion would be 10x the suffering you would go through.

There would be something that you will never forget for the rest of your life.

I suggest having the child, and if you must, put the child up for adoption.

You must tell your mother, don't rush into it. Tell her in your own time, when YOU are ready.

Whatever your decision is, I back you up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

hey.. ii am 14 too and ii maybe pregnant i have been gaining wait since ii had sex with my boyfriend over and over... but the thing is he is 17. and i am 14. we have been together for 1 year this august. and we was thinking about haveing a babyy but..after all we said no bcuz it would be hard..if ii did have a baby ii would not tell my parentsz first ii would tell my boyfriend and if you really loved him it wouldnt be that hard..bcuz ii told my boyfriend it was possible and he is here for me and baught me a pregnancy test and i am going to take it soon..

then after word when you guys are ready to tell your parents tell tem bcuz if ii am ii wil tell my mom and dad but not sure for the rest of my family.( religion ) save yourself for marrage.. but ii hope this helped a little bit. good luck and if you are pregnant i hope you have a beautiful babyy and a lovely life you always wanted ;]]]]

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A female reader, amberrose United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2009):

hey, i no this is a really old questionso dont no if you will aswer it or if csomeone else could who reads this and has had a baby. i am pregnant, two months and i havn't told my parents yet. im pretty calm about the whole situation but i no my parents wont be they are incredibly strict.im trying to think about options and could someone please comment me and just tell me how things are going if you have had a baby at a young age. i am 14 and were middle class i could cope with it but need to hear from someone who knows what there talking about, the ins and outs if you please thankyou :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

Wow. So sorry! I was pregnant the first time I had sex too, I was only 14 as you. My at the time boyfriend told me I shouldnt get a abortion, shouldnt have it becasue his family couldnt afford childsuport but He didnt want to give it up for adoption. My mother kicked me out of the house, so i went to live with my grandmother who had a 3 bedroom home and 10 family members living there, these family members were into drugs and loud sex, as well as rude rude rude people. I didnt feel this be the best place to raise a child, so i went to live with my great aunt, she said I couldnt stay with her once I had the baby but I could stay with her tell then. I was too young to have a job or a place of my own so I did the only thing I felt I could do that was to have a abortion.

I was 15 weeks pregnat when that happend and it took a long time for me to get over it, it was something I felt as if I had to do rather then wanting to do. ( I became depressed over the decision that I had made and I turned to drugs )I wasnt informed about adoption and I was clueless about it. I am now 30 years old and have 4 children with a great hubby. Looking back on my abortion and the way it effected my life I was lucky to have pulled my head out of my ass and stoped using drugs, saw a doctor and got on depression pills as well as counsling.

What I would do differntly and my advise to you is to talk to proffesional people about your options with your pregnany, because it is your pregnany not your mothers. Contact a abotion clinic or look up information on the web to see how a abortion is performed and can you live with that? If you can great if you cant dont!

Contack a adoption agency and find out the differnt options for adoptions. Giving up your baby dosent mean you will never see your baby again. There is this thing called open adoption find out more about it. Also go to the warefare office and talk to them about how they can help you if you decide to keep this baby. What ever you do inform yourself and be sure this is the decison that is best for you and for your unborn child, to have a child and raise it is for the rest of your life. When you make your decison think about your future as well as the childs.

NOTE! Dont put yourself threw this again, go on the pill or IUD PLEASE. GOOD LUCK, and make the decsion that is right for YOU AND YOUR FUTURE!!! Sorry this is so sloppy need to get this out before you make up your mind.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

im only 14. and i think im pregnant too. .

well im actually still a virgin because his "thing" didnt

exactly go in butt we were messing around and

some of his sperm might of gott in me . . im scared to death! i dont know what to do because me & him just broke up .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009):

Hey bbe.

you're not alone girl.

I'm fourteen years old & pregnant.

No body knows.

I'm absolutely scared to tell anyone!

The worst thing is i'm pregnant from

my ex boyfriend of one years cousin.

We can go through this together.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007):

hey im also 14 and im going to have my baby in about 1 month. Trust me you need to tell someone. I told my school nurse first because i was way to afraid to tell my mom. She always said if i got pregnant she would kick me out and look where i am. In her house. So go on and tell somebody. It's ok.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007):

hiya. if u no for definite that u r pregnant, then i advise u 2 talk 2 ur mum. make sure u sit down 2gether wen shes not busy and can speak 2 u just the 2 of u. tell her ur sorry and u rele need 2 tell her. she wont be angry or throw u out or anything like that. shes ur mum so of course she will unerstand! things will only get worse if u dont open up 2 sumbody. u also need to tihnk about wat u want 2 do. would u b able to cope? can u afford it? hav u got ne future plans? etc. believe me a problem shared rele is a problem halved! i wish u the best

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

Hey!!!!

What has your boyfriend thought about having a kid i would not tell my mom until i went in labor and they come out and told her that she was a grandparent

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007):

watch the film "juno" cos it helped my frend figure out quite a lot of things when she got preggers (she 15)

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A male reader, just a guy United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2007):

just a guy agony auntblsss my sis waz 15

u have to tell some one a friend or a prist tell some 1 in ya famlly u have 2 dont get rid of it the baby has dun nuthin wong

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

look, i know what you are going through i turned 15 in august and i found out that i am five months gone, i didnt know what to do as it was past the stage of getting an abortion and i wouldnt have got rid of it any way because i dont agree with that, but you need to think how far you have gone and would you be able to look after a child? personaly i advise you to do what i did,have the baby and once you have had it either put it up for adoption or keep it depending on whether you can cope i kept mine and i am now really happy i advise you to tell your mum, i didnt but thats because i dont have a very good relationship with my mum but tell her what you want to do as you are in charge, she cant make you have the baby and she cant give it up for adoption its all up to you , the future of the baby is down to you xx

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (24 October 2007):

Blue_Angel0316 agony aunt If you know it is his for sure then you should tell him. Talk to your MOM she will know how to take care of things. You need to see a doctor right away. Pray about it because from a Mother's heart to her child is a close bond. I know because my daughter was only 14 the first time she had sex. I tried to caution her we had many talks before it happened. She didn't listen. However I loved my child. I still continued to try to impact her life by advising her about the way her life would be changed if she continued having sex.

She still didn't pay it much attention as she was quiet rebellious. At the age of 16 she had her fist child. She cried, I cried and then a baby was born. Needless to say I still loved my child as a Mother should. I helped bring that baby into this world. Her name is Destiny. She is a precious part of both our lives.

Don't underestimate the power of Love of a Mother for her child. Let her know that you need her and if you want to keep this baby ask her to help. You have to be strong so you can still go to school and take care of the baby also with a little help from Mom now and then. You have to accept that responsibility. It's all up to you to convince Mom that you can and will do it. It won't be easy and your childhood is forever changed.

God is sending an Angel into your lives what you do with your Angel is up to you and you Mom.

Blessings and may God watch over you.

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A female reader, lilgirly Lebanon +, writes (24 October 2007):

lilgirly agony aunttell ur mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007):

well i think u need to think wot ur gunna do i had a baby at 15 ant if i could make the same baby in 5 yrs time i would ur wasting ur life away if the babys dad says he loves u then ur wrong they all say they want part in ur babys life but there soon get board so think bout it and thats cuming from a ypung mum by the way dont do it!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, Fallen Aangel United States +, writes (23 October 2007):

Hi, i'm also 14 and i think im pregnant and need help asap.please

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007):

i think u should break it 2 ur parents gently an see what they think 14 is a young age for having sex thought but whats done is done

best of luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007):

Tell your best friend. That is what you should definately do. She will understand and will be able to give you the best advice. Then tell your BF then tell your mom. BUT only if you want to tell them all. You can secretly have an abortion with only you or one other person knowing then, carrying on with your life. But remember you might have to tell your mom one day. But it is best to get the situation sorted out first. Their are loads of girls your age and under who have been through this. You can talk to councillors/ a friend/ a nurse/ a doctor/ your bf/ your dad/ nan anyone who will understand. (all these people probably will) It is not shameful or disgusting. It happens...you did'nt mean to get pregnant..but it happened. Don't feel embarrased. You are 14. That is old enough to make your own desicions. You can have an abortion and your doctor would not be allowed to tell your mum anything. Or if you wanted you can keep the baby. This however, means yuo have to tell your mom soon...as you will start to show. With getting the abortion you can tell her later on. If you feel you can get through this without your mom...you don't need to tell her. But if it was me...i would tell my most trusted friend and then my bf. Good luck babe xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007):

You really need to tell someone. I am 27 now but fell pregnant at 14 and never told anyone until it was too late. My baby died because I kept it secret for the whole pregnancy. My parents were very supportive after it all happend. You need to tell your mom. You will be surprised how supportive she will be. If you dont say anything, it will all end in tragedy!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007):

hi hunny! Firstly make your own decison do you want to keep it or have an abortion? You dont know how your mom will react to this news until you tell her. She maybe mad at first then she'll calm down. She wont be mad at you for the rest of your life so stop panicking. Moms are there to help and guide us and im sure your mother just wants the best for you.

Just a quick reminder

Think about all the things you would like to do! Go clubbin with your friends, meet different boys, get a wicked job that pays for all your lovely clothes for when you go out or the other choices of stayin in while all your friends are clubbin, changing nappies instead of buyin lovely clothes!??!?!? Your choice! But remember there is always a solution to everything!

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A female reader, Katiie_xox United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2007):

PLEASE Create and account and we can chat because i have just got pregant by my boyfriend who is over the legal age to have sex and im not because im only 14 and im so scared

get back to me please!!!!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007):

You will have to tell your mom because if you don't, you'll only be making it more harder on yourself. If you leave it any longer it will be harder for you to tell her

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (11 September 2007):

rcn agony auntYou need to tell someone. Living with this and keeping it a secret will not be good long term. This is going to be a hard challenge for you. Deciding to have sex, you accept the possibility of something happening, so you need to accept the responsibility of your decision.

If you're afraid to talk to your mom, maybe a peer counselor or school counselor can help. They can help you as far as telling your mom too. Just having an adult there, who's not directly involved, who will be thinking rationally can make a huge difference.

If you keep the baby, just remember this. Having a baby doesn't give you an excuse to give up on your dreams and goals in life. It just means you have to make some changes and alter the process in which you get there.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007):

It's very hard to take the step forwards and tell someone about this. But waiting will only make things worse.

You decided that you were mature enough to have sex in the first place. Now it's time to demonstrate that maturity and begin dealing with the consequences of it.

If you don't feel comfortable telling your mother right off the bat, then maybe you have another relative or someone else to turn to first?

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A female reader, Gemini1506 United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2007):

Babe i seriously think telling your mum or someone older that you trust will help. so you can look through all the options you have. but if you want the baby try not to let your mum try and sway you the other way because the choice is upto you. it's your body at the end of the day

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A female reader, finchy United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

finchy agony auntWell, i think you should tell your boyfriend first off.

If your deffinatly sure your pregnant only you can make the decision... myself i dont belive in abortions unless for reasons like rape even then id probubaly concider adoption.

just think there are many couple out there desperate for children.

you could use foster carers.. until you know you are older and maturer.

But remember if YOU dont want an abortion dont have one.

its YOUR life.. YOUR body... YOUR baby.

take care.. x feel free to private message me x ..

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A female reader, Courtney_ann United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

Courtney_ann agony auntIt is your decision but, remeber your mom probably knows you best and has YOUR intrests at heart (unlike some friends). So it is up to you but, you have to tell her and take her advise seriously! She loves you I am sure, and only wants the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

its not all bad as it seems i had a baby boy when i was 14 an still went bk 2 school the only person that knew was my partner abortions is just cruel dont do it unless u really dont want to have any kids at ur age i am now 20 an have 2 boys good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

Girls its hard your still young you have your hole life a head of u i;m going through it right now and i'm only 17 teen i wanted a Abortion because i knew it was best for me but my Boyfriend didn't tell your mom before it gets to late but just do whats best for u and focus more on school than them nappy head boys.

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A female reader, chloelikespeas United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

chloelikespeas agony auntHey, I think i'm in the same situation. I'm not certain and haven't done the test yet, but if it is positive I'm gonna go to the school nurse or 1 of those teen problem clinics. I know that you can tell them confidentially and even get an abortion without your parents ever finding out. So yeah that's what i'm gonna do, sorry couldn't help more, and gd luck. ox

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

hi my gf is 14 aswel n we think she might be pregnant but we r not shore but we have told her parents but not mine if ur lukey your parents wil reacte like hers they were cool wid it but we are stil woried wht you have done so far is good but now is the big step of tellin ur parents just tell them that you need to talk then just get straight to the point. what we did was say 'mum dad i think im pregnant; then cry abit (it works trust me lol) then say 'i know i did the wrong thing but we used a condom' well i have to go now sorry i couldent offer any more help but good luck xxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

Are you positive you are pregnant? What happened to the condom, did it break or what?

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (30 August 2007):

stina agony auntHi there anonymous,

I've recommended the following site to many people your age who find out they're pregnant. It talks about how to tell your parents, what to expect of their reaction, how to deal with them being disappointed, and help for your boyfriend, as well. It also offers help to your parents on how to deal with your pregnancy. You may want to suggest that they read the site, as well.

Just remember - you do NOT have to have an abortion if you don't want to. It is YOUR decision, despite what your mother has told you. This is one decision that is NOT her's to make. Remember, you can always go through with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption if you don't feel as though you can keep it.

And if you have questions about an abortion, talk to a DOCTOR, not your mother. A doctor will give you the facts. It sounds as though your mother has already made her decision and you don't want to be told lies just so that she makes sure you get an abortion. (Not sure how your mother is, so I'm just telling you to be extra cautious.)

Here is the link:

http://www.momdadimpregnant.com/

Hope this helps you. Take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

i also am 14 but still a virgin so i cant relate but if i was pregnant i would tell my mother first (hoping she would be understanding) try break it to her by saying 'mom ive done something terrible....' and try be a bit dramatic (if you are not already it might soften the giving out if any) then visit a doctor and look at all of your options if you want to keep the baby hopefully your family will support you, if you want to have an abortion (which i am totally against) talk it over and make sure you wont regret it in the future, or you could give it up for adoption (but then you might also regret that too)

good luck i hope you make the right decision!

xx

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A female reader, YummyMummy United Kingdom +, writes (30 August 2007):

YummyMummy agony auntThe decision about the abortion is down to you hunni, not your mum. I would go see your doctor who you can talk about all the issues you have going through your head. They can also check everything is going ok with you and the baby.

I'm 22 and was petrified of trlling my family I was pregnant. But if you decide to keep the child then the sooner you do it the better because it isn't something you are going to be able to hide once the bump begins to show.

Talk things through with your boyfriend. Will he stand by you?

xxxxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

Tell your doctor and let her know that you don't want an abortion if that is how you feel. In the UK we have a child mental health service, which has local offices. Maybe they can help. See who you can call. Get some support so that you can not be forced. You can get an education later if you want, plenty do.

I hope others will see this and realise that underage sex is a tragedy waiting to happen.

Having an abortion is a BIG deal, something that can affect you for the rest of your life and change the way you feel about your children later when you have them. It is a regret that you always carry, so I am afraid that when one of the previous people advised you to go ahead and not look back they can't have know what they were talking about. Your Mum may not understand either.

In other circumstances this would be a situation to celebrate. It is not the baby's fault that this is under a cloud. To move forward you definately need help from another adult. This is about how you feel, not your Mum, you may resent her for always in some way if you feel she has forced you into a termination.

Good luck sweetheart and I hope that you get the help you need.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

Tell your mother, have the abortion and don't look back. Get an education and have kids when you're an adult. In the future, be sure to use 2 forms of birth control, one just for pregnancy (pill, IUD, etc.) and one for your health (condoms) and be sure to ask your doctor or nurse how to put a condom on correctly because that's an important part of using one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

how are you having sex at your age anyway?

Me and me freinds used to say we would get an abortion without our mum knowing if we got pregnant at teen age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

First off all, you need to tell your boyfriend. It might be a good idea to have a dinner with both your families, together or indiviually and have both you and your boyfriend break the news to your parents. Do you want to get an abortion? Do no let your mom make you get an abortion if you dont want to. Its not her decision, its yours. The longer you wait, the less options you will have. The converstations you are about to have could possibly be the hardest you will ever have to have in your lifetime but you will get through this. Everything happens for a reason. Good luck darling.. let me know how it goes

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