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I always hurt my girlfriend unintentionally

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2022)
A male Bangladesh age 22-25, anonymous writes:

hi,

I have been dating this girl whom I love and adore a lot. The thing is for the past few months, I hurt her always unintentionally. I care about her but she thinks it's not enough. I get angry easily when she picks fights over silly things that leads to a bigger fight because I couldn't control my anger. I don't like hurting her but I end up doing it always. When everything is fine, we are the happiest, but I always mess up. I have always been asking for last chances. I just want to know how to make her feel wanted and show her that I care?

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A male reader, lol im just a random United States +, writes (31 March 2022):

Take care of her emotions. I think it's up to you to get to know her deeply and talk with her on the specifics of how you should be toward her a little. More than that, being upset is sometimes warranted. Depending on how deeply your understanding is, your conclusion of who is guilty, how guilty, and guilty of what, will be more accurate (or less accurate if you suck).

Basically what im saying is, if you get angry when you shouldnt, your judgement is faulty and you need to fix that. Try to be a mature lawyer about everything, talk to yourself in the mirror about the entire problem to find who's guilty and exactly why, from BOTH perspectives.

You better make damn sure that your conclusion is correct, so if you're going to accuse her, you must see things from her point of view, not just your own my friend

Both perspectives matter. Only when considering both can you find who is guilty FROM BOTH PERSPECTIVES.

And once you conclude who is guilty you dont even need to say it angrily unless she becomes some kind of psychopath towards you and disregards it and attacks you still

My point is, if someone truly wants to be evil and has no remorse for what they're guilty of, they might deserve for some to be upset at them.

being upset isnt always wrong, but you better be a really good lawyer in figuring out who is guilty before you let yourself assume you have the right to be upset.

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A male reader, lol im just a random United States +, writes (31 March 2022):

Take care of her emotions. I think it's up to you to get to know her deeply and talk with her on the specifics of how you should be toward her a little. More than that, being upset is sometimes warranted. Depending on how deeply your understanding is, your conclusion of who is guilty, how guilty, and guilty of what, will be more accurate (or less accurate if you suck).

Basically what im saying is, if you get angry when you shouldnt, your judgement is faulty and you need to fix that. Try to be a mature lawyer about everything, talk to yourself in the mirror about the entire problem to find who's guilty and exactly why, from BOTH perspectives.

You better make damn sure that your conclusion is correct, so if you're going to accuse her, you must see things from her point of view, not just your own my friend

Both perspectives matter. Only when considering both can you find who is guilty FROM BOTH PERSPECTIVES.

And once you conclude who is guilty you dont even need to say it angrily unless she becomes some kind of psychopath towards you and disregards it and attacks you still

My point is, if someone truly wants to be evil and has no remorse for what they're guilty of, they might deserve for some to be upset at them.

being upset isnt always wrong, but you better be a really good lawyer in figuring out who is guilty before you let yourself assume you have the right to be upset.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2018):

If you want a girlfriend you have to be more mature. If you keep messing-up, it's because you're being childish or selfish. You may be too immature to be in a relationship; so you keep making mistakes all over the place.

You better get some control over your temper. If you're the one messing-up; why are you so angry at her for being upset for hurting her?

I hope you don't hit her! Don't ever do that. If you get too angry, you have to leave and go somewhere until you cool-off. She's a girl, and she will get emotional. She has every right to be upset when you do or say things to hurt her.

Treat her the way you want to be treated. You want her to respect you. Be nice to you. You want her to show you that she cares about you. Just give back what she is giving you!

Don't flirt with other girls while you're in a relationship. If you make a promise, keep it. Don't lie to her. Remember her birthday. Listen when she's talking to you. Hold her hand when you walk together.

When you disagree, never yell. Even if she does, you still shouldn't yell back. You are stronger, and you are not supposed to show rage at a female. Remember that. When you do things that upset her and you didn't mean to; be sure that you apologize, and mean it. Just don't do it again. Don't say you're sorry just to shut her up!

It makes you a fool and less than a man; if you hit or show your uncontrolled anger towards females. It means you need help. You don't deserve her, if you keep hurting her.

Being nice and showing her she can trust you will make her happy.

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A female reader, Daisy88 United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2018):

Maybe you need to go deeper and ask yourself why do you get angry easy? Do you both spend time togeather, just you two? Maybe go on a date night together once a month or week but also spend time apart like you go out with your friends and she does the same. Sometimes spending too much time together can get too much for both of you. I really think you can do this and both make this work.

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