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male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes: i guess i am still in a teens mindframe as im writing this, but here it goes...a few days ago i turned 20, and it feels like a world of shame has been dropped on me...i had kept my virginity through high school, and i was fine with that..diseases, babies, and rumors- i didnt want any of that. but i did not plan on waiting this long! my last real girlfriend was in 10th grade.. i was 16. after that it was just talking and never lasted that long. i met someone my freshman year of college (who was basically my girlfriend, we just never gave it a title), and almost lost it (never put it all the way in), but forgot a condom. shortly after we stopped talking, and havent really talked to anyone since. right after her, a conversation came up about when my friends lost theirs a few months ago, and i lied and said i had just lost it to her - she was my first everything except the final doing, so at the time it made sense-..but it wasnt so bad, because i knew of other virgins. it may not be uncommon anywhere else, but here i know i am THE last virgin. i just feel like if a conversation like that every came up n most people list 17 15, etc, and i say 20, ill get the whyd you wait so long/eww type vibes from people. then too im still a little insecure because all through high school, a lot of people thought i was gay, and it sort of looks suspect.how can i get over these horrible feelings?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): don't do it stay a virgin because at the end you'll be stronger i promise
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): losing your virginity is somthing specail number one becuase you cant go back and number two you will always remember your first, do you remember the first time you road a bike, the first time you tied you shoe by yourself? Its no different, its one of those things you will never forget. Also you should only do it becuase at that moment you were so inlove with someone that it seemed right to you. Its better to look back on your first time saying"wow that was a great moment we shared" rather than "what was i thinking"
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female
reader, carrie_cares +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Take it from someone who lost their virginity at the age of 15... Don't do it! I was a very niave 15 year old who thought it would be cool to lose her virginity before legally being old enough and belive me I really wish I hadn't. I lost my virginity to the worst person possible. I wish I'd waited now not because of religon but because I am now happy in the relationship that I am in and wished I'd waited to share it with someone special. Everytime I think back to my first time I regret it and wished I hadn't been stupid enough to follow the pack.
Please don't sleep with someone just to "get it over with" you'll regret it.
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A
female
reader, theGREATEST +, writes (3 January 2007):
 I think you should loose your virginity to someone special.. and not just loose it simply because 'everyone else is' You should do it for you not everyone else. I think you should try to let go of this insecurity as much as possible.. You will find the right one to give it too and i'm sure that person will be veryyy thankful that you waited for them. Plus, theres alot of things going around STD types. If you feel those vibes from other people, say something to them and stand up to them don't just take it. And there's nothing wrong with being a virgin its definitly something to be proud of. =)
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis was all really helpful..i just got caught up in that conversation with my friends and its bothered me ever since.. everyones was gone by 18, then i say 20..and it does make me question myself why i waited so long when everyone else met someone by then- im not very religious in that i dont go, and i have met some nice girls. but something bad followed every first ive had and i do want this to be right.. im sort of bitter to because the last girl i was with was the one i wanted to give it to, and still do. she was a virgin too and i cared about her a lot, and still do. when we almost went all the way, i wasnt nervous at all, i was happy actually, and had an idea of what to do, unlike i would have if i was 15 or 16. which is why i dont regret being an older virgin... just not 20. im just being immature, i guess ill get over it
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont know why i dwell on it, i was just more caught up in the age rather than actually losing it, like 19 (or teen at all) just sounds better lol and i guess i felt it was missing out on something (i doubt i did, but the feelings still there). i dont regret being a little older i just didnt wanna be 20. like when i almost lost it, i was not scared a bit with the girl, like i know i would have been when i was 15 or 16. and i cared about her a lot, and she was really the one i wanted to give it to... and actually the friends (one lost it at 14, the other was 18) i had the conversation with thought it was cool that i waited..i said it was old, they said there was nothing wrong with it.
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A
male
reader, Zim  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Firstly, you should never feel inadequate for being a virgin. It is something to be proud of. You're waiting for that special someone to come into your life first. The fact that your friends have conversations about this is very similar to my own experience. Whenever my friends talk about when they lost their virginity, i'm proud to be able to sit there and say that I haven't done it yet. And you know what? It's surprising, (It certainly was for me) they look at you with a completely new respect. The reason for this, is that the majority of men that I know that have had sex regret doing it because it will come to a time in their life where they will meet their perfect woman and they won't be able to give her that special gift which you can only give once. How special do you think it would be to give your virginity to the woman you love the most in the world?
Saying all that, I was at the same point in your life where I thought I must lose my virginity. But, like you I was uncomfortable with it. You will know when you find that special person and if it feels right then go along with it. Just be very sure when you do. You say you think you're the last virgin, at least where you live? I can tell you for a certainty that you are not. Again, I used to think that I was alone, but I couldn't believe the amount of people that were still virgins. It took me a while to find them, but they are there. Some of them being the most unlikely people.:-) Believe me when I say you are not alone.
If you get questions like "why did you wait so long?/ewww etc etc" stand up to them. If you want to stay a virgin for a reason, tell them that and why. I cannot tell you how much respect you will get.
Good luck. I hope i've answered your question and helped you with your dilemma. If not, reply back and hopefully we'll be able to help you more. ZIM
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 First off, don't just go blow it on some random chick okay? Being a virgin at 20 is more common than you think. The fact that you are still one at 20 shows that you are mature, responsible and thoughtful. Be patient, you will find the person you want to give your virginity to. Those of us that lost it in a random moment with someone we felt nothing for, may look back at it with regret or laugh about what fools we were, but those of us that lost it with someone they truly cared about will always look back at it fondly. When you find the right girl to finally have sex with, your virginity will be a non-issue, if it is an issue, then I would recommend NOT doing it. How am I such an expert on this? I lost mine when I was 16 just to get it over with. It sucked, there was nothing special about it, and I wished I hadn't done it. My husband waited to have sex until he was 26 (Yes, I said twenty-six.) He was a virgin until we were engaged, and it WAS special and even I look back at it fondly. It was touching, romantic, and an honor to be the one he finally gave himself to. Try to think of this virginity 'problem' as a good problem to have, not a bad one. Don't cave in to peer pressure. Sex is only good if you are with some one you have real feelings for, otherwise it is just a physical release, and that you can do on your own.
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A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2 + ♥, writes (3 January 2007):
 How do you get over these feelings of being the last virgin? For one stop dwelling on it, it seems you are picking yourself apart and choosing to pay attention to the negative things that other people say about you instead of focusing on the positive things that people say about you and more importantly the positive things that you could be saying about yourself instead of I'm the last virgin."
Losing your virginity may seem like a contest, but it really isn't, when the time is right for you, it will happen when you want it to happen, for goodness sake I am sure if you just wanted to lose it you could find some skanky girl to oblige you, but you having high standards are holding out for something and someone special.
You just need to get over yourself and stop being so neurotic over your virginity, and it is not that hard to stop obsessing about it, if conversations come up with friends you can simply say instead of lying that you don't wish to discuss it as it is no one's business...or that you are thinking of getting a hooker and laugh and make a joke what ever your crew would be impressed with I guess since you are more concerned about impressing a bunch of morons instead of being who you are.
And the whole gay thing is just some people's need to figure you out or to label you, there again it is all in how you confidently handle yourself, and if you let people know you don't appreciate the comments, then they will stop doing that to you, it is that simple.
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