New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login222414 questions, 964903 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I agreed that my wife have sex with another man and now she is pregnant with his baby and won't give it up!

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 15 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

me and my wife made a mistake but my wife thinks different, don't know what to do

I’ve been married to my beautiful wife Robin for almost 2 years, we dated for just over a year before we got happily got married, I would say maybe about 8 months ago me and my wife ended up getting petty busy with our life’s and find it hard to spend time with each other and we didn’t have much of a our sex life, things become tense between the two of us, so maybe 5 months ago we agree for one night we would make the time to talk about everything, we knew we couldn’t really change our life’s like our jobs, we both agreed to try and get our sex life back, so we both went away to think about how to improve our sex life a week later we discussion it, now one of the things we came up with we both had a very similar idea and that was for my wife to have sex with another man, me and my wife both know I can get pretty jealous and we agreed it be for one time only

So we agreed that my wife would have sex with another man and then she would tell me all about it and we went away again to make rules of this event, the date came where my wife would go out on a date with a friend she knew, so she went on her date, one of the rules was that I had to stay out of sight when she came back home with him and that I had to sleep in the spare room that night, so before my wife came back home I was laying down in the bed in the spare room, and of course I couldn’t sleep, I heard my wife come home and it seemed they stayed down stairs for a little bit before coming up the stairs they made they way to mine and my wife bedroom, my wife made me move our bed so it was against the wall right near the spare room, from what I thought and my wife told me they were kissing and playing around with each other first and after a bit they was already to have sex, me and my wife both agreed that she have to make him wear a condom, I later fought out that her friend didn’t want to use a condom so she didn’t make him, so they started to have sex, I was feeling really jealous and I did have second thoughts but it was to late anyway, I wanted my wife to enjoy yourself too, the headboard of our bed was hitting against the wall, so I could hear the banging of it, I knew why my wife wanted the bed there, I could hear my wife moaning, what got to me was that she never moans like that with me

The next day that night we had sex, she made me wear a condom and she didn’t moan like before with her friend, but we both enjoyed it, after a few weeks my wife came up to me and told me she was pregnant, I was shocked because she had me always use condoms and I’m sure they never broke. Then she told me it wasn’t my fault and she explain why she said the night she had sex with her friend she didn’t use a condom with him, she said she was sorry that she knew the risk of letting have sex with her without the condom and that she was going to tell him to pull out but the sex got the best of her and when she knew he was going to come even with the thought she could get pregnant she wanted him to come inside her, and after she felt really bad and her friend asked her if she wanted to go again, and she said at the time she thought that damaged has been done, it wouldn’t matter if they went again, so they had sex again and let him come inside her again, I couldn’t believe what my wife said she broke the rules and all she could say was she was sorry but she doesn’t regret it and that she already old her friend she pregnant and she going to keep the baby, she told me she loves me and hope I can forgive her and she said she had one more thing to say that after she told her friend she was pregnant the next day he got her a ring and told her to now and then take off her wedding ring and put his ring it in place , so my wife lifted her finger up to me show mw that she was wearing his ring and not our wedding ring and she said she will put our wedding ring back on in a few days

I have tried to talk my wife out of keeping the baby but every time I do she gets really mad at me, and she won’t listen about wearing his ring she said she thinks it cute of him to want her to wear his ring, she keeps telling me she does love me and I do still love her even after all this, so now my wife is walking around with a pregnant belly with another man kid in there and that that her belly showing she started to wear his ring a lot more

I just don’t know what to do, and what so wrong about this is to, my wife always some how makes me all turn on with everything that happened and then she says see you like it

View related questions: condom, jealous, kissing, sex life, sex with another, wedding

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

Did you resolve your problem?

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010):

man that's crazy . weird thing is that i thought of doing that for my wife before ( 8 years ago ) but it never happend , i guess i thought it was just sex ! i told her she could have sex with anyone just let me know first, we even went to the mall to try to find some one but it never happend , i guess we were to shy at the time, years later

i see that would have been a bad idea ..

point is you will have problems and more than you ever had before . i know you love her but even if you stay she won't . ask your self what dose she think of you letting her " bang a buddy " she might think you are weak and screwed up in the head. if you are having problems and your wife got a ring from the " bang a buddy " and put it on , 1 thing for me this would never happen and the other

" bang a buddy " needs to be talked to to see what is going on with them , growing balls yet ?? mister " bang a buddy " wants to cumm in her for the rest of his life .

sorry for your broken hart , it's time to go .

she will throw you away with the trash and this aint no joke the more you fight the more she will run to this other " bang a buddy " and don't forget if this dude would have had a std in the mouth or shaft that you could have got or the babby . stop playing with there lives ask her if you want to stay you may have a chance but don't count on it . if she is playing games tell her to find some where els to live or sale your house and move with out her and wate and see what happens .

or what i would do is first stand up next locate the front door next turn your body toward the door ( and do this while she is watching you ) start walking to the door

oppen it like a robot and close it walk to your car and get inside drive far away and never look back .

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

oh my goodness. that is like a knife to the heart. i hate to say it but i agree. she doesn't seem to care for you the way you care for her. this requires some serious decision making and lots of talking. or you could leave her. but it sounds like your still in love with her. i think the idea was a bad idea. but you were desperate and cant change what has happened. moving on is all that can be done. you have to chose your path from here. i can only hope that you are spared from any further unnecessary pain and torment.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010):

oh my goodness. that is like a knife to the heart. i hate to say it but i agree. she doesn't seem to care for you the way you care for her. this requires some serious decision making and lots of talking. or you could leave her. but it sounds like your still in love with her. i think the idea was a bad idea. but you were desperate and cant change what has happened. moving on is all that can be done. you have to chose your path from here. i can only hope that you are spared from any further unnecessary pain and torment.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

Don't take this to seriously until you investigate it and know it to be fact.

Not sure if the laws in the uk are similar to here in the u.s., but if they are, it sounds to me like you've been set up. You may be to late. Find a lawyer or do whatever is customary to start the divorce process over there. It sounds as though there was some plotting on their parts before this ever went down. Sounds like you were manipulated.

Investigate this immediately, or you could end up living in a cardboard box while she is banging this other guy every night in what was once your house and your bed, while eating off your money.

Over here, time is essential; whoever sees the divorce lawyer first has the advantage over the other in court.

Next time: don't let your wife, girlfriend, whatever bang another guy, especially one she knows.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

She had unprotected sex with another guy in your bedroom, gets pregnant, wears the other guy's ring in your face and you think she is going to stay with you? The way things are going she is going to throw you out of your own house and install the other guy as her husband.

Your marriage is no more. You are her husband in name only.

Divorce papers will be served by her soon.

The scenario you reveal is so wicked that I'm thinking you just made a good story.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

Grow a set of balls, mate. Boot this classless wench to the gutter where she belongs.

Let this 'friend' have her.

You deserve so much better. But it is partly your fault, you invited this disaster into your life. That fault lies with you and you alone.

The damage is done, and you cannot repair it it unless both parties want to. And it does not seem like she wants to.

No she wants a toy-boy and a her meal ticket.

She is the female equivalent of a player.

Flynn 24

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

you seriously need to get this sorted

its simple

leave her.

she doesnt care for you, she doesnt find ur sex fulfilling, she lust after another man, she wheres a reminder of him, she is not regretting shes having his baby.

i assume you are not an idiot and you are just blinded by love. but you need to get a grip and realise you have no happy future with this women. you will never ever get over this, she fucked another man, enjoyed it more than you, got pregnant, will have the baby and whears his ring? doesnt that sound ridiculous to you? you are setting yourself up for a life of torture, leave her now, deal with the pain now and eventually you will recover and find someone else.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010):

wat in the world is this happening?woow you let your wife sleep onather man in ur bed wat can man r u or wat kind human r u i realy dont now wat to say i'm speechles

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (21 January 2010):

heartfullalove agony auntErm...is she still fucking the other guy or was it a once-off?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Beingblack United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2010):

Beingblack agony auntSome of the best advisers on this site are always telling people to avoid threesomes, and never invite a third party into the marital bed.

The most obvious thing would have been to seek advice prior to agreeing to such a drastic night.

Well, no matter, whats done is done. But what a mess.

In my opinion, it takes two to make a marriage really work, so I would say that you are both to blame to some degree.

What you have to do now is decide how much your marriage is worth, bearing in mind that your wife is pregnant with another man's baby. YOU agreed to the night of sex. She got pregnant while you were in the next bedroom, listening to her. You are her husband. Solving problems in a marriage are rarely accomplished by allowing your wife to have extra marital sex.

Are you prepared to live the rest of your life with this woman, who has decided that she wants to keep a permanent reminder of her night of lust?

And she wants to keep that other man in her life.

And she has decided to wear his ring, and not her wedding ring.

What does that tell you?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom + , writes (21 January 2010):

She doesn't' really care about you, or she would never have done this in the first place. She's even wearing this other man's ring. You've been played from the start, I suspect. Now you need to make a decision. Can you live with her and this baby, or would you be better moving on now?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, samehere United States +, writes (21 January 2010):

samehere agony auntThis is the weirdest question I EVER read... This whole thing is messed up from the beginning ----- How can you agree on having your wife sleep with another man in your bed... Marriage is a sacred bond that involves a committment and love. Sacrifice too - but what you portrayed here is not "sacrifice".. It's... I can't even think of a word for it...

I'm speechless now.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

You need to walk away. I don't know why you let her have sex with the friend.....but that is water under the bridge now. I think things are going downhill seriously and you should pre-empt them now. She is wearing someone else's ring for goodness sake and thinks it's "cute". She doesn't care about you. I suggest you leave before the baby comes, it will only get harder.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (21 January 2010):

You need to make a decision. Do you want to stay your marriage? Your wife is having another man's baby and you have been manipulated into accepting it. If its showing then its likely that its too late to abort it. Who is going to be the legal father of this baby? Is your wife still seeing this man? Why is this situation turning you on? You urgently need counseling to help you through the tough decisions you have to make about this situation. An innocent life (the baby) is going to be hurt by 3 adults who are confused and deviant. Please get help for yourself and advise your wife to perhaps join you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!