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I absolutely have no idea where I stand!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2011)
A female India age 36-40, *hite_Lillies writes:

I am 25 years old, and a lesbian, I broke up with my ex girl friend after 3 years of relationship.But we still share the same room or stay under one roof .She has a long distance relationship with another woman ever since we broke up. Now the thing is she says she has never loved anyone like me before and she still loves me. She confessed that she has a strange feeling for this woman and admitted that she cant help it. She is in touch with her every day through Internet / mobile phone. Whenever she's on the phone with her girlfriend, I get hurt and I'm jealous. It even hurts more when I know that she's making love to her. I have a doubt whether she really loves me or her. Because we often kiss or make out and we do almost all the things together like partners. And when she had bad times with her girl friend, she would even ask me to marry her and when they patch up she wouldn't even say that she loves me or kiss me properly.This is quite weird.

She's suffering from Lupus and she's jobless, I don't even want to leave her and move on with my life, cos' I know she has no-one to look after her, neither her girlfriend would come here to my country nor could she go to her as she doesn't have enough money. Its like she cant live without her gal and she wants me as well. I'm so confused and helpless. I cannot even flirt around with other girls as she gets upset if I do so. Please help me and give me some advice.

View related questions: broke up, flirt, jealous, lesbian, long distance, money, move on, my ex

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (12 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntWow, that has got to be hard for you when you still love her so much. The fact that she is dependent on you for the roof over her head just makes things more complicated.

If she had a job and a place to go, I would probably tell you to dump her and move on. Because she is not acting very loving towards you right now. And it sounds like she is only being nice so you don't kick her out.

So why don't you try this first. CANCEL your internet, and stop paying her phone bill. Maybe you can't make her love you again but you sure in the hell can and should stop paying for her to talk to this other woman. If she pays her own phone bill then tell her she has to break all contact with other woman as long as she lives under your roof.

Pardon the expression but I think it is time for you to "man up" with this girl and tell her the free ride is over. Tell her you still care for her but unless she starts behaving like your girlfriend again the way she used to she is going to have to find a new place to live. Those are her choices. Once all the other distractions have been removed and she see's the new you she just might fall back into love with you.

But even if she doesn't at least you won't be tortured ever day by having to listen to her carry on with someone else right under your nose. And finally if she leaves, then so be it, either way at least she isn't able to keep hurting you anymore and it wasn't you that threw her out with no job.

I hope this helps...

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